Proof that spammers have no brains

As well as being unable to spell the word “Viagra”, spammers seem to be lacking in the finer points of written English. Here are some of the more hilarious examples that I have received lately, along with my possible interpretations.

• Gain the enormous sensual vibe in your relationships - a Pontiac Vibe, perhaps?
• Your wife won’t recognize your “friend” - Who was that masked man?
• Show the world the giant you’ve been hiding - The monster in the cupboard, perhaps?
• Your enlarged package will satisfy her to no end - The UPS man will be pleased…
• Change your garden tool into a POWER DRILL - Of what use would that be in the garden?
• Be the Stallion you’ve always wanted to be - So you can feed me hay and keep me in the shed?
• Your woman will be astonished by your instrument - Nice Violin you’ve got there.
• Takke a vieew off malee heaalth reeform rebates - Duuuude, your keyboaaaard is broooken.
• Where adding a few inches could mean changing your life for the good. - Great! I’ve always wanted to be a bit taller.