The Great Bed Hunt

We went shopping for a bed today. Our old bed is ten or eleven years old, and has a bad case of “bed impressions”, which may be contributing to my back problems. So we decided to go shopping for a new bed, and plotted a course that took us to half a dozen local bed/mattress places.

This must have been the best weekend of the year, as every place we went to was having a sale – either that or beds are overpriced and there is always a “sale”. Interestingly, every one had only one salesperson or manager on duty.

  1. Nice chap. Educated us on types of beds, firm vs soft, Turns out that I prefer a firm bed (like most men), while milady prefers a soft bed (like most women) Beds were expensive though.
  2. Nicer chap. Beds are on sale here, He made us aware that it is possible to get a mattress that is half-firm and half-soft. He had a floor model that was marked-down on clearance . This looked like a good deal, but since we had just started, I was reluctant to commit, so I ask for his card. On his card, he marked it down by an additional $60. This was our best bet, and we decided that we swould buy this one if we found nothing better.
  3. Our first disappointment. This chap was very tall, a little intimidating (unintentional, I’m sure) and reminded us of a car salesman. Half way through his wife and two cute little boys showed up. I am sure this, too, was unintentional, but we felt like we were interrupting a family reunion… but then we were about to leave anyway, so no harm done.
  4. This was an outlet. It was rather messy and smelled… odd. The salesperson was already attending to another customer, a woman with two small but exceedingly ill-behaved children. the children were very badly behaved; the little boy kept flinging himself on every bed, while his older sister kept interrupting her mother with “Mommy! I want that one!”, and running around smacking every bed (including the ones we were trying out). We would have waited to be served, but every time milady or myself lay down on a bed, she would jump on the other side of the bed, making it impossible for us to try a bed together. I tried a little game with her and headed to the other side of the store; she followed me. Mommy said nothing. I cannot find it in my heart to blame the kids though. Aside from a few half-hearted admonitions, the mother did nothing. Madam, if you are reading this, please curb and discipline your brats. To you they are undoubtedly the most beautiful of God’s creations, but to the rest of humanity they are undisciplined hell-spawn.
  5. On then, to the next place. An unmemorable experience, probably because we did not get to speak with the salesman, as he was busy with other customers. Ah well…. In the parking lot, we noticed two places across the road, so off we went.
  6. The next place started off well enough, with the chap asking diagnostic questions and being helpful. Prices are good but not great. He talked about their thirty-day “guarantee”, where you can do a one-time trade-up to a same-or-greater-value bed within ninety days. Then he blew it. I wanted to browse other stores: “I am concerned that I might have missed something”. He questioned my decision. “You’ve looked at all the options: what do you think you might have missed?”. BZZT!! Wrong answer “If I knew, then it wouldn’t be something I missed.” that made me mad, and it cost him a sale and a customer. Milady’s comment as we exited, stage right “I didn’t like him; he was pushy”.
  7. We walked into the next store and looked around. The salesperson, a lady of middle-age, seemed very understanding and sympathetic. They had a couple of floor-models that they were trying to get rid of, and they were marked-down for clearance. One was identical to the model that we saw at store #2… But was $100 cheaper. We tried it; me likey! She likey! And it was good.I asked about delivery. She said that delivery was free on new beds but cost $40 for floor models. I must have involuntarily raised an eyebrow at that, as she went to the computer, checked some details and offered us free delivery.

    I nodded. She had won the sale.

    Then she did something we did not expect. Unasked-for, she knocked another $100 off the price. After placing the order and paying, we left in a happy daze.

Lessons learned:

  • Never pay full price for a bed – they are ALL overpriced.
  • Most of the salesmen are decent and helpful…
  • …if only the same could be said for some of the customers. If you have young children, control them in public. For some of you that may mean inflicting punishment or using “sharp” words. doing something
  • Most men sleep closest to the door; they’re women sleep furthest from it. Nobody knows why – I suspect that it may be a primitive “protection” mechanism. Me Tarzan! You Jane! Me protect you! UG!
  • Too many of the customers I saw were women shopping alone. Guys , you need to “man up” and go with her. She will love you for it, and you will get a vote in the process. Or you can take the easy way out, and end up with an overly-soft bed and back trouble. Your choice…
  • If you feel pressured… RUN.
  • For a good night’s sleep call 495-2160 and ask for Carol. 🙂
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