Craigslist Computer Listings – a Translation Guide for Beginners

• “Desperately seeking a laptop. Must be recent and must have wireless. Willing to pay $100.”

I am delusional.

• “Looking for Macbook. Must be recent and must be cheap”

I don’t want to work like a millionaire, I just want to look like one.

• “Looking for legit Windows Cheap”

Da Windoze i got from da Torrentz last year iz not legit and Micro$oft iz on my azz! Dey sez i am a pirate – Oh Noes! i needz ta get a legit version quick – and i STILL dozn’t want to pay da munniez for it.

• “Nearly new laptop, cost me $X, selling for $X-50”

I am under the illusion that a computer is some kind of investment. I am hoping that you are willing to forgo return privilege, New-Computer-Experience and original-purchaser-only warranty for a mere fifty bucks.

• “Labtop for sale”

I am a bloody idiot.

 

Now you know…

Two Years of “Yes We Can”

Two years ago, I wished President Obama luck on his inauguration. Now is a good time to look back at some of the highlights of twenty-four months of “Hope and Change”.

Credit Card Reform and Unintended Consequences.

• The CARD act, passed in 2008, placed restrictions on some of the evil that Credit Card companies do. Unfortunately, after it was passed it allowed them six months to do all the evil they wanted… and do evil they did. As a result, my one remaining credit card has an interest rate of over 20%, even though it has only been used a handful of times and is paid off in full whenever it is used.
• I got off easy — some friends who are deep in debt saw their credit card interest rates soar to 30% (usury) less some infinitesimal fraction. I am not sure if this law was Obama’s fault, but it happened on his watch.

Health Care Reform

• “Obamacare” got passed… but it doesn’t come into effect for another three years, though we will start paying for it now. Thanks… I think.
• Under Obamacare, those who refuse health insurance when offered (i.e., Healthy Young People) can be fined and potentially jailed.
• Another part of Health Care “Reform” is that I cannot use my Flexible Spending Account (FSA) to buy Over-The-Counter medicines. This effectively increases the taxes on medications to the tune of about half a billion dollars a year. The amount you can put into an FSA will also be reduced — from $5000 at present to $2500 in 2013. Curse you Obama! Is that your idea of reform? Taxing the crap out of the sick? All medications should be tax free — PERIOD.

Iraq

• We are finally out of Iraq!
• No not really — we still have 50,000 folks there, about half the number we had before we left.
• Did somebody say “Mission Accomplished”?

Gitmo

• Guantanamo Bay is still open for business. Nuff said.

Election 2010:

• The nation has spoken — and what they said is: “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me“

Verdict: No you didn’t

Georgia on my mind

I spent much of yesterday and today driving through the great state of Georgia (that’s the US State, not the Soviet one). I have some observations to make about these folks that I wanted to share with you.

Now Georgians are some of the most wonderful people that you could meet. But when they get behind the wheel of a car, all that changes. Here are some of the things that I noticed while traversing three hundred and fifty miles of the state on I-75.

• Georgians don’t signal. This is my pet peeve, and the single most dangerous thing about freeway driving. They swoop majestically from one lane to another without signaling, and in many cases without looking. I was nearly sideswiped a couple of times because of this.The worst offenders appeared to be guys in big pick up trucks with names like ‘TITAN’ (You say ‘Nee-Sun’, I say ‘Datsun’) and ‘Tundra’ (which means barren Arctic wasteland, last time I looked) — turn down the country music, put both of your your hands on the wheel and pay attention! — and women driving big SUVs who are too busy yabber-yabber-jibber-jabbering on the phone to work their turn signals — put down the damn phone!
  
• They also have a lousy sense of lane discipline. While passing on the right is legal, is is not the wisest of maneuvers, I found myself doing it much more than usual, as Georgians seem to have an aversion to the right lane.; the lively ones are all stacked up in the left lane, while Grammaw and Grampaw are peacefully snoozing in the middle lane.
• Driving too close. A lot of them — particularly Pickup Trucks and SUVs (again) — have a tendency to drive too close to the vehicle in front, so they are constantly touching their brakes to avoid a collision  — a game I call hitty-hitty-brakey-brakey — which results in brake lights disturbing everyone for half a mile behind them.

Georgians are not the rudest drivers on the road (that distinction goes to New Yorkers), nor are they the meanest (Chicago) or the most excitable (Los Angeles). But they are among the most irritating.

Anyway, that’s all behind me now; I’m so glad that I can finally get Georgia off my mind.

Happy New Year

Was that it?

Poor TV coverage

Second… no, third-rate rock bands.

Five seconds of “Auld Lang Syne”, and then… New York, New York?

Surely there must be more to the New Year’s Celebrations than this.