The Large Print Giveth…

Got this in my inbox:

The Large Print Giveth…

One day I was feeling peckish and decided that Pizza would be nice. So I clicked on the big friendly-looking “Order Now” button. On selecting my local Pizza Hut Emporium, I got this interesting little pop-up:

…the small print taketh away.

Would I like to check out their current offfers? Er… no.

No.

HELL NO!

Way to go Pizza Hut! You just drove me straight into the arms of the competition. Papa John’s, here I come…

If men ruled the world…

• Most of the malls would go out of business…
• …as would all the greeting-card stores…
• …all of the “Beauty Shops” (didn’t know you could buy beauty)…
• …most of the cellphone companies would go bankrupt…
• …along with the two-thirds of the stores in America that sell NOTHING of interest to men.
• The phrase “Wait till your father gets home” would be meaningful…
• …and “If Momma ain’t happy…” not so much.
• There would be a statutory limit on how many shoes and handbags a person could own…
• …and “How to pull up next to the ATM, not five miles away from it” would be a compulsory part of the driving test.
• “She won’t quit talking” would be  reasonable grounds for Divorce.
• “Yes” would be an acceptable answer to “Does this dress make me look fat?”
• Valentine’s day would be “Just another day”…
• …and today would be a national holiday.