Handbags and Gladrags

The typical woman’s handbag contains:

• Hand sanitizer. How did we survive before this was invented?
• Pills for all occasions
• A purse
• A white iPhone. It seems that every woman under the age of fifty has a white iPhone. For some odd reason it is usually in a pink case. The majority of women don’t use the “smart” features.
• Wipes
• Ttissues
• Roll of kitchen towels
• Mop & bucket
• Receipts for every purchase of the last three months.
• Some kind of mirror.
• Lipstick.
• A HUGE bunch of keys (the typical mom has more keys than the typical jailor)

The typical man’s pockets contain:

• Loose change (unless he has children)
• Wallet or billfold
• A pocketknife. Every boy over twelve has one. Every boy under twelve wants one. It’s a mystery.
• Keys
• Phone (usually a cheap one — men don’t “need to talk”) — usually belt-mounted.
• Pocket Fluff. Nobody knows where this comes from.

Now you know.