Handbags and Gladrags

The typical woman’s handbag contains:

  • Hand sanitizer. How did we survive before this was invented?
  • Pills for all occasions
  • A purse
  • A white iPhone. It seems that every woman under the age of fifty has a white iPhone. For some odd reason it is usually in a pink case. The majority of women don’t use the “smart” features.
  • Wipes
  • Ttissues
  • Roll of kitchen towels
  • Mop & bucket
  • Receipts for every purchase of the last three months.
  • Some kind of mirror.
  • Lipstick.
  • A HUGE bunch of keys (the typical mom has more keys than the typical jailor)

The typical man’s pockets contain:

  • Loose change (unless he has children)
  • Wallet or billfold
  • A pocketknife. Every boy over twelve has one. Every boy under twelve wants one. It’s a mystery.
  • Keys
  • Phone (usually a cheap one — men don’t “need to talk”) — usually belt-mounted.
  • Pocket Fluff. Nobody knows where this comes from.

Now you know.


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