To the Son I never had

My boy,

Let me start by saying “I’m proud of you”. Proud of the man you are becoming. Your mother, like women everywhere. looks back fondly on your “baby days”, when you were totally dependent on her. But my approach has always been different; I look forward to the man you will one day be.

The world that you move in is nothing like the one I grew up in thirty years ago; it is far more dangerous; When I was a lad, there were two types of Venereal Disease — syphilis and gonorrhea — both of which were curable. Nowadays they are called STDs, and there are about thirty of them. Some will leave you sterile. Others can kill you.

You were born into an age of political correctness, a concept which has informed the world we live in, and not in a positive way. At school, the rough-and-tumble of recess has been removed, the push-and-shove of the playground has been excised — both to the detriment of boys, who, far more than girls, need to run and play and fight, as boys since time immemorial have been wont to do. Without this outlet for your boyish energies, you will have difficulty sitting still in class — and they will label you as “hyperactive” and give you drugs to “control” it.

You are also born into a world obsessed with safety, where you cannot ride a bicycle without all manner of safety equipment; a world where three tons of metal, plastic and rubber known collectively as a minivan is needed to cart you around.

As you grow to manhood, you will find that women have changed as well. No longer the sweet-natured feminine creatures of my generation, they have freed themselves of the dreaded yoke of male oppression (whatever that is), though curiously, many still expect the privileges of chivalry at the same time.

Avoid women of low character, as evidenced by short hair, large or ugly tattoos, low standards of dress or uncouth speech. Do not waste your precious time or energies on them. Do not waste your breath, just backturn, walk away and leave them to their delusional thinking.

Be distrustful of any girl with an entitled attitude — stay clear of those with “princess syndrome”. Avoid women who think that they are more attractive than they actually are. You have better things to do with your time than to waste it trying to argue some sense into these spoiled and entitled creatures. Remember, you ‘re not looking for a princess, you’re looking for a queen.

Avoid women who are loud, brash, mannish, rude or uncouth. Reject women who are passionate about politics, feminism or “fairness”.

Stay away from women with useless (having no direct applications outside political/paper-shuffling jobs) degrees such as Wimmen’s studies, Gender Studies or “soft” Liberal Arts (Visual arts/History/Political science/Psychology/Social science/Performing arts/Humanities, not to be confused with “classic” liberal arts: Grammar, rhetoric, logic, geometry, music, and astronomy) .

There are still a few feminine, pleasant girls out there to be found; girls who want to be women, wives and mothers, and not men, husbands and bosses; don’t waste your time on the unpleasant ones.

While on the subject of females, never take advantage of one who is drunk; the line between regret and rape is fuzzy and subject to retrospective reinterpretation without notice. On the wrong side of that line is a felony charge and a lifelong reputation as a sex offender. Even if she begs, she ain’t worth it.

There are girls you might marry, girls you could date and girls you should ignore. Know the difference.

If she is indulging in drama, ignore her. Women pull that shit for one reason and one reason only — because they can. Break her of that habit as soon as possible. If she won’t shape up, move on. Life is not a soap opera, and unless she is a Victoria’s Secret girl, she has no right to expect you to behave like a Soap Opera guy.

Never give up your power as a man. Never submit to her demands. Never allow her to define you. Live your life, your way, according to your rules. For submission in a man is the death of attraction in a woman. To put it bluntly, she’s not your mother.

Hang in there; it gets better. Time is on your side. Mother Nature gives women their gifts up front. Attractive young women have *awesome* power over men. But what Mother nature gives so generously, father time takes away. A woman’s powers of attraction — and her fertility — are fading at thirty and gone by forty. And most of them don’t realize what they had until it is gone. A man’s prime years begin around thirty and last beyond fifty. And his fertility lasts from thirty minutes after puberty until thirty minutes after he’s dead. Women will howl and yowl about this, but them’s the rules; life’s not fair.

Blaze your own trail. Follow your own path. Don’t let others decide who you should be and how you should behave.

Choose your friends carefully. Your enemies will choose you.

Be polite, but never subservient. Helpful, but never obsequious. Charming but never submissive.

Learn to fight. You may never need to use it, but it will inform your confidence. And women are attracted to confident men.

Learn how to lose gracefully and how to win magnanimously, for you will learn more from your defeats than from your victories.

Remember the four C’s — Confidence. Competence. Courage. Charisma.

Understand that women are rarely as nice as they make out to be; their minds are just as naughty as yours, if not naughtier. They’re just sneaker than we are, and better at hiding their true intentions.

Hollywood is lying to you; There is no “The One”. There are literally millions of women out there, and statistically speaking, there are several dozen that would be perfect for you. No, she’s not “One in a million”, she is “One of a million”. Don’t get caught up in chick-flick expectations.

When the time comes to seek a wife, remember that some of the best ones are to be found elsewhere, in countries where women have not been spoiled or ruined by the dubious “blessings” of Western Civilization.

Travel. Learn. Improve. Seek greatness.

Don’t take advice about women from women. Ignore what they say, believe what they do.

Do not let women tell you how a man should behave. They may say they want nice guys, but they don’t think about, chase or rip of their panties for “nice guys”, so don’t be a nice guy.

There is a difference between “Nice Guys” and “Good Men”. Choose to be a Good Man. Or better yet, be a “Magnificent Bastard”.

If she tries to make it all about her, she is not the woman for you.

If she is more interested in what you can do for her, she is not the woman for you.

If she wants to know what you own, what you are worth or what you drive, she is not the woman for you.

If she is willing to exchange bodily fluids before exchanging last names, she is not the woman for you. You’re not the first, you won’t be the last.

Do what *you* want. Do what pleases you, as long as nobody else has to pay the price. Live your life on your terms, not somebody else’s.

Never change who you are to please a woman. If she can change you, she can break you. If she can break you, she owns you.

Remember that she is not the prize, you are. Life is an adventure, and you are inviting her to share it with you.

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