In praise of Traditional Marriage – Part 3

Or: Where do we go from here?

Part One Part Two

The Story So Far: (source)

  • Step 1: Tell two generations of men they are sexist, brutish, scum of the earth who will forever be inferior to women.
  • Step 2: Give women massive privilege in obtaining scholarships and jobs.
  • Step 3: Indoctrinate generations of women into perceiving every man as a vile monster, and that being “strong and independent” requires being hateful to men.
  • Step 4: Rig divorce and child custody laws to make marriage a hideous trap for men.
  • Step 5: Dehumanize men to the point that we believe their only role is to be a servant to women.
  • Step 6: Act surprised when men give women the middle finger.

Feminism, the culture and some truly horrible changes in the law have made marriage such an unpalatable option for men that large portions of the population are simply eschewing marriage, if not avoiding women entirely. The same changes that freed women from men also freed men from women.

Action, meet consequence.

Let me be clear: I am happily married, enjoy being married, and hope to remain so all the days of my life. But should I find myself unexpectedly single, I would not rush back to the altar, nor would I encourage today’s young men to marry. Partly because the institution has been ruined, but mostly because most women make poor wife material.

Many are the Varnish, few are the Wood.

From up here in the cheap seats, it seems to me that most women are looking for a man who is Tall, Handsome, Muscular, Masculine, Confident, Competent, Charming, Charismatic… and rich. So 80% of the women are eying up the top 5% of the men. Nothing wrong with that, but statistically speaking, most of those women are doomed to disappointment; “settling” for either a lesser man, or a collection of cats.

So what is a marriage-minded man to do?

Here are a few ideas and words of advice:

  • Cultivate Awesomeness: be a whole man whose body, mind and spirit are in balance.
  • Build Wealth: All other things being equal, a man with a paid-for car and enough cash in the bank to live for a year will be far more desirable to women that one who does not have these things.
  • Live Frugally: Don’t buy useless crap.
  • Dress well. Whether you like it or not, clothes make the man, and are among the first thing that people notice.
  • Out Yourself: Make yourself available. Be out in public. Watch for opportunities to make new friends.
  • Approach women. If you’re shy, do it anyway.
  • Project power: Women are attracted to powerful men. This is why thugs and “gangstas” never lack for female company. Your dress, posture and demeanor signal to women that you are a high-value man.
  • Stay Strong. Women are attracted to strength; this is simple biology. Stay fit, be strong, keep a good posture, do not slouch.
  • No Need: Don’t act needy. If you are always free to see her, she will realize that you are not high value and will lose attraction — and once you lose that, it’s a one-way trip to the dreaded friend-zone, if she doesn’t ignore you and move on. Don’t return texts immediately.
  • Be Brief: Keep text message exchanges short. The purpose of texting is to arrange a date, not to share life stories. Don’t waste your time on women who don’t want to meet.
  • Friends First: Or, as the saying goes, “Bro’s before Ho’s” — never allow a woman to decided how you spend your time, and with who. At the same time, cultivate friendships with other high-quality men — don’t hang out with losers or trifling men. Remember that you are the average of your five closest friends.
  • Talk Proper: Keep your mouthpiece crisp: Men are generally turned on by images. Women are generally turned on by words. This is why men watch porn and women read romance novels. Learn to speak well.
  • Be Content: Be irrationally confident, playful and fun. Women don’t want to be around miserable men.
  • You Win: Make it clear that she is not the prize, you are.

In the last part, I detailed some of the attributes of men that women find attractive. But what about the women?

“A woman of good character, who can find? Her value is more than rubies”, is how King Solomon put it nearly three millennia ago. And this is as true today as it was back then. Western women are in the main, not very marriage-minded.

But women are really good at hiding the negative aspects of their nature (deceitful, conniving, manipulative, moody) from a man until he has signed on the dotted line and can’t walk — or run — out the door. This is yet another reason why men prefer younger women — they have had fewer opportunities to ruin themselves.

And what about her? What is a man to look for in a woman?

  • Younger is better: If you want to have a bunch of children, a woman past her prime years (18-24) is simply a bad bet. And if you don’t want to have children, why are you getting married in the first place?
  • Cut out the fat: Unless you are into bigger girls (most men aren’t), avoid them entirely. They will rant and rave and yell and scream and call you names and foam at the mouth and flop on the floor. Just leave them there. And hope they like cats.
  • Pick religious/moral/disciplined over cute/hot/sexy. If she reads Cosmo, move on.
  • Go for wife skills: Is she good with kids? Can she cook? Does she think being a wife and mother is a chore or a calling?
  • Avoid girls with tattoos, piercings or brightly-colored hair. These are all “slut tells”, and may point to a troubled past. Girls with one or more of these tells will vehemently deny this. Don’t believe them. Women lie to look better than they actually are, as the multi billion-dollar fashion and cosmetics industries mutely testify.
  • Single Mom? Just say No: It is an indication of how sick Western Society has become that single mothers are held in such high regard. There are three kinds of “single mothers”: Widows (ok, but you may end up living in another man’s shadow), Divorcees (a crap-shoot; remember, the divorce is never her fault) and Baby Mamas (Hell to the no – leave them to the consequences of their misbehavior). As if that is not enough, single mothers will generally put their kids before you, which is never good recipe for a healthy marriage. You never want to find yourself in a position where you have all the responsibility and none of the authority.
  • What about Daddy? Are her parents married? Does she have a healthy, respectful relationship with her father?
  • Too much education? Nothing wrong with a girl having qualifications or even a good job. But the brutal, simple truth is that she chose those things over marriage in her prime years, which means that you are more likely to be a must-have fashion accessory than the most important thing in her life.
  • Watch for impulsive traits: Debt means that may be looking for an ATM to bail her out of her current troubles.
  • Doubly so for Addictions, medical problems or previous trauma, such as child molestation or rape. No, it’s not her fault, but you are not her therapist. You cannot fix her. She may try to play the damsel in distress to appeal to every good man’s protective instinct. Don’t be fooled by this act.
  • Run, don’t walk, away from women with any kind of mental health issues (depression/anxiety/BPD/BSC) — you don’t want to be shackled to a nutter for the rest of your life, nor do you want one for the mother of your children.
  • Does she have a servant’s heart? Men want a wife who is respectful, pleasant and submissive. If she even mentions Feminism — unless it is followed by the words “… is rubbish” — leave her be. Spending your life shackled to a “strong, independent woman” is a bad idea that rarely ends well.
  • Ignore what she says, watch what she does. If its all about her, there will never been room in her life for you.
  • Trust but verify: Demand open access to her medical, financial and sexual history. Make is a requirement that she gives you the password to her Social Media accounts (without giving her time to hide the evidence) and look for evidence of misbehavior.
  • Demand a lie-detector test. Don’t be afraid to ask the hard questions. Don’t be like the man who found out a year into the marriage that his “low-mileage” wife (4 previous partners) turned out to be the “village bicycle” (37).
  • If there is a financial imbalance, demand a pre-nuptual agreement. If she balks, you just found a gold-digger.
  • Avoid One-Itis. There is no “The One” for you. Run the numbers — there are about a million girls born every year — that means another girl turns 18 every 31.5 seconds. There are literally two born every minute.
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