Category Archives: General Oddness

In praise of Traditional Marriage – Part 3

Or: Where do we go from here?

Part One Part Two

The Story So Far: (source)

  • Step 1: Tell two generations of men they are sexist, brutish, scum of the earth who will forever be inferior to women.
  • Step 2: Give women massive privilege in obtaining scholarships and jobs.
  • Step 3: Indoctrinate generations of women into perceiving every man as a vile monster, and that being “strong and independent” requires being hateful to men.
  • Step 4: Rig divorce and child custody laws to make marriage a hideous trap for men.
  • Step 5: Dehumanize men to the point that we believe their only role is to be a servant to women.
  • Step 6: Act surprised when men give women the middle finger.

Feminism, the culture and some truly horrible changes in the law have made marriage such an unpalatable option for men that large portions of the population are simply eschewing marriage, if not avoiding women entirely. The same changes that freed women from men also freed men from women.

Action, meet consequence.

Let me be clear: I am happily married, enjoy being married, and hope to remain so all the days of my life. But should I find myself unexpectedly single, I would not rush back to the altar, nor would I encourage today’s young men to marry. Partly because the institution has been ruined, but mostly because most women make poor wife material.

Many are the Varnish, few are the Wood.

From up here in the cheap seats, it seems to me that most women are looking for a man who is Tall, Handsome, Muscular, Masculine, Confident, Competent, Charming, Charismatic… and rich. So 80% of the women are eying up the top 5% of the men. Nothing wrong with that, but statistically speaking, most of those women are doomed to disappointment; “settling” for either a lesser man, or a collection of cats.

So what is a marriage-minded man to do?

Here are a few ideas and words of advice:

  • Cultivate Awesomeness: be a whole man whose body, mind and spirit are in balance.
  • Build Wealth: All other things being equal, a man with a paid-for car and enough cash in the bank to live for a year will be far more desirable to women that one who does not have these things.
  • Live Frugally: Don’t buy useless crap.
  • Dress well. Whether you like it or not, clothes make the man, and are among the first thing that people notice.
  • Out Yourself: Make yourself available. Be out in public. Watch for opportunities to make new friends.
  • Approach women. If you’re shy, do it anyway.
  • Project power: Women are attracted to powerful men. This is why thugs and “gangstas” never lack for female company. Your dress, posture and demeanor signal to women that you are a high-value man.
  • Stay Strong. Women are attracted to strength; this is simple biology. Stay fit, be strong, keep a good posture, do not slouch.
  • No Need: Don’t act needy. If you are always free to see her, she will realize that you are not high value and will lose attraction — and once you lose that, it’s a one-way trip to the dreaded friend-zone, if she doesn’t ignore you and move on. Don’t return texts immediately.
  • Be Brief: Keep text message exchanges short. The purpose of texting is to arrange a date, not to share life stories. Don’t waste your time on women who don’t want to meet.
  • Friends First: Or, as the saying goes, “Bro’s before Ho’s” — never allow a woman to decided how you spend your time, and with who. At the same time, cultivate friendships with other high-quality men — don’t hang out with losers or trifling men. Remember that you are the average of your five closest friends.
  • Talk Proper: Keep your mouthpiece crisp: Men are generally turned on by images. Women are generally turned on by words. This is why men watch porn and women read romance novels. Learn to speak well.
  • Be Content: Be irrationally confident, playful and fun. Women don’t want to be around miserable men.
  • You Win: Make it clear that she is not the prize, you are.

In the last part, I detailed some of the attributes of men that women find attractive. But what about the women?

“A woman of good character, who can find? Her value is more than rubies”, is how King Solomon put it nearly three millennia ago. And this is as true today as it was back then. Western women are in the main, not very marriage-minded.

But women are really good at hiding the negative aspects of their nature (deceitful, conniving, manipulative, moody) from a man until he has signed on the dotted line and can’t walk — or run — out the door. This is yet another reason why men prefer younger women — they have had fewer opportunities to ruin themselves.

And what about her? What is a man to look for in a woman?

  • Younger is better: If you want to have a bunch of children, a woman past her prime years (18-24) is simply a bad bet. And if you don’t want to have children, why are you getting married in the first place?
  • Cut out the fat: Unless you are into bigger girls (most men aren’t), avoid them entirely. They will rant and rave and yell and scream and call you names and foam at the mouth and flop on the floor. Just leave them there. And hope they like cats.
  • Pick religious/moral/disciplined over cute/hot/sexy. If she reads Cosmo, move on.
  • Go for wife skills: Is she good with kids? Can she cook? Does she think being a wife and mother is a chore or a calling?
  • Avoid girls with tattoos, piercings or brightly-colored hair. These are all “slut tells”, and may point to a troubled past. Girls with one or more of these tells will vehemently deny this. Don’t believe them. Women lie to look better than they actually are, as the multi billion-dollar fashion and cosmetics industries mutely testify.
  • Single Mom? Just say No: It is an indication of how sick Western Society has become that single mothers are held in such high regard. There are three kinds of “single mothers”: Widows (ok, but you may end up living in another man’s shadow), Divorcees (a crap-shoot; remember, the divorce is never her fault) and Baby Mamas (Hell to the no – leave them to the consequences of their misbehavior). As if that is not enough, single mothers will generally put their kids before you, which is never good recipe for a healthy marriage. You never want to find yourself in a position where you have all the responsibility and none of the authority.
  • What about Daddy? Are her parents married? Does she have a healthy, respectful relationship with her father?
  • Too much education? Nothing wrong with a girl having qualifications or even a good job. But the brutal, simple truth is that she chose those things over marriage in her prime years, which means that you are more likely to be a must-have fashion accessory than the most important thing in her life.
  • Watch for impulsive traits: Debt means that may be looking for an ATM to bail her out of her current troubles.
  • Doubly so for Addictions, medical problems or previous trauma, such as child molestation or rape. No, it’s not her fault, but you are not her therapist. You cannot fix her. She may try to play the damsel in distress to appeal to every good man’s protective instinct. Don’t be fooled by this act.
  • Run, don’t walk, away from women with any kind of mental health issues (depression/anxiety/BPD/BSC) — you don’t want to be shackled to a nutter for the rest of your life, nor do you want one for the mother of your children.
  • Does she have a servant’s heart? Men want a wife who is respectful, pleasant and submissive. If she even mentions Feminism — unless it is followed by the words “… is rubbish” — leave her be. Spending your life shackled to a “strong, independent woman” is a bad idea that rarely ends well.
  • Ignore what she says, watch what she does. If its all about her, there will never been room in her life for you.
  • Trust but verify: Demand open access to her medical, financial and sexual history. Make is a requirement that she gives you the password to her Social Media accounts (without giving her time to hide the evidence) and look for evidence of misbehavior.
  • Demand a lie-detector test. Don’t be afraid to ask the hard questions. Don’t be like the man who found out a year into the marriage that his “low-mileage” wife (4 previous partners) turned out to be the “village bicycle” (37).
  • If there is a financial imbalance, demand a pre-nuptual agreement. If she balks, you just found a gold-digger.
  • Avoid One-Itis. There is no “The One” for you. Run the numbers — there are about a million girls born every year — that means another girl turns 18 every 31.5 seconds. There are literally two born every minute.

Why 40 doesn’t suck (if you’re a man)

A friend sped me to a post called “40 reasons 40 doesn’t suck“, ostensibly written by a professional writer/journalist. I say “ostensibly”, because I cannot remember the last time I saw such a load of tosh trying to pass itself off as serious journalism. Her “40 reasons” included such pabulum as knee socks, cussing, crying, complaining about the cold, and calling husband “perverted” for daring to want what he wants. And to top it all off, her list of “40” things ends with #32, and she somehow manages to pass this innumeracy off as a good thing.

I have no personal axe to grind here — she’s written some good stuff – but this particular one looks like it was written to a headline and a deadline and it came across as the ramblings of a crotchety old man. Still, her blog, her rules… which is probably why her post did not invite commentary. Strange, that.

But it got me to thinking… does 40 really suck? I have to say “no”. Partly because I was a late developer, but mostly because I am a man.

By and large, women bloom early and fade early; Mother Nature blesses them with the gift of attraction (aka Fertility) at about the age of sixteen, but Father Time takes it away again about twelve years later, which explains the crowd of late-twenties-early-thirties women who are surprised that Mister Exciting is no longer returning their texts. So for a woman, 40 is the death knell of physical attraction that stops men in their tracks and makes them cross the room to introduce themselves, to the annoyance if many harpies-in-training. And if you are offended by this, don’t worry dear, you’re one of the rare exceptions. Honest.

Men, on the other hand, tend to bloom later. The jocks bloom in their twenties, and the geeks – like yours truly – bloom in their thirties. So for them, 40 is the sweet spot in the middle of “The Zone” (for women, this occurs at about age 22-24). You can argue about this if you want, but this is not the place for it – I have blogged about it before.

So here are my reasons that 40 doesn’t suck… if you’re a man.

  1. You finally get some dress sense. When you’re a kid, you can wear any old rubbish and get away with it. As you get older, you realize that style is timeless. Unlike the ladies, you can make do with a handful of outfits and don’t need enough accessories to fill a small warehouse.
  2. You stop caring what others think. You have grown out of needing approval, and doing what you want. Congratulations on finally becoming a grown-up. For some reason, women find this somewhat winsome.
  3. You know who you are: By 40, you should know what you want to do with your life, and you don’t need anyone else to give you direction, validation or encouragement.
  4. You’ve got money. One would hope that by the age of 40 you have a little money put by for your old age. For some reason, women find this exceedingly attractive.
  5. You begin to understand masculinity and the laws of attraction. You begin to realize why you fared so badly with the fairer sex in your younger years; some of your behavior was cringe-worthy.
  6. You realize that time is on your side. A single man at 40 who is in good shape can easily date a girl in her twenties. A single woman at 40 has far fewer options and will find it difficult to catch the eye of any men under 50. I have seen this happen several times.
  7. You have all the power. As you mature, you get wisdom, which allows you to separate the wheat from the chaff more easily – and there is a *lot* of chaff out there. Twelve years of incredible power over men can go to a woman’s head – and often does.
  8. You don’t need 40 reasons for anything. You only need one. Because you want to.

Full disclosure: 40 is a vanishingly small smudge in my rear-view mirror. And I’ve still got my foot to the floor.

Trademark Mania

  • You “Xerox” your documents
  • You reach for a “Kleenex” when you have a cold
  • You put a “Band-Aid” on a contusion.
  • You put “Gasoline” in your car

And yet you snicker when I “Hoover” the house.

Survey Says…

Women who lost their virginity as teenagers are ‘more likely to divorce’

Women Take Almost 50 Percent More Short-term Sick Leave Than Men

Excessive Tattooing and Piercings are evidence of Self-destructive behavior(PDF)

Scientists Link Selfies To Narcissism, Addiction & Mental Illness

Addition of testosterone reduces lying in men

Egalitarianism, Housework, and Sexual Frequency in Marriage
Why men shouldn’t do housework – Dividing work in the home along gender lines = more sex. (PDF)

Couples that delay sexual activity experience higher quality relationships

Slimmer Women’s Waist is Associated with Better Erectile Function in Men Independent of Age

The Paradox of Declining Female Happiness
“By many objective measures the lives of women in the United States have improved over the past 35 years, yet we show that measures of subjective well-being indicate that women’s happiness has declined both absolutely and relative to men.” (National Bureau of Economic Research)

The bigger the wedding, the shorter the marriage

Attractive women get more job interviews than unattractive women. Attractive men have no similar advantage.

Correlation between tofu consumption and low brain function.

The Gender Pay gap is due mainly to women choosing lower-paying jobs (Bureau of Labor Statistics PDF)

Sexual assault on College Campus is not 1 in 5, more like 1 in 165 (Bureau of Justice Statistics)
And remember, sexual assault != rape!.

College Students Are Actually Less Likely To Be Victimized than those outside of college (DOJ)

70% of domestic violence incidents were started by women and the men were defending themselves (which a man has the common law right to do, just in case you didn’t know). (APHA/CDC)

Outstanding student loans reduce a woman’s odds of marrying

Stop! Grammar Time!

Grammar Time!

I thought that I would punctuate my normally weighty pronouncements with something a little more light-hearted than the usual. Here are some pictures I have taken over the years that made my eyes roll.

Where you at?

At least they didn’t say “Where *is* you at?””

MO Fighterfighter's Museum

Apparently they only have one firefighter in Missouri

Big Savings at Kroger's

Not sure if this is correct, but it somehow seems… odd.

Only one kid gets to brush their teeth!

Only one kid gets to brush their teeth!

Translated from Taiwanese to Ebonics, perhaps?

Translated from Taiwanese to Ebonics, perhaps?

Grammatically correct, but deliciously ironic.

Grammatically correct, but deliciously ironic.

Attraction for Dummies

Hold tight folks, things are about to get politically incorrect…

Over the past few years I have become something of a relationship hacker. I have observed the actions of others, and the consequences of those actions. I have seen plenty of thoughtless stupidity — mostly from men — and delusional rationalization — mostly from women.

Over the past century, the average age of first marriage has gone up by about ten years. In Grand-dad’s day, a young woman would go from her father’s house to the altar and then on to home, hearth and family. In these enlightened days, however, women are encouraged to avoid early marriage at all costs, get an education, become independent and generally “find themselves”, before seeking marriage… if they feel like it.  This is generally thought of as a good thing, but I wonder if it really is; after all, marriage has become disposable, and women seem to be a lot less happy than they used to be…

The Economics of Attraction

We all have standards. There are things that we find attractive, and things that we simply don’t. But some of the lists that women come up with are unrealistic in the extreme. This is partly because most women overestimate their attractiveness to men, and partly because during her prime years or attractiveness, (16-28), women enjoy awesome power and a plethora of options. The more attractive she is, the more attention she will receive and the more discerning she will have to be.

However, what Mother Nature provides most bounteously, Father Time takes away with alacrity. Gravity and birthdays will inevitably conspire to reduce their power to command the attention of men and rob them of options. Men stop noticing them, pursuing them and making a fuss of them. But like the proverbial boiling frog, they are often slow to realize this until it is too late. As one wag put it: “Cinderella has arrived late to the ball, only to find Prince Charming has long since departed, and all that is left is a few middle-aged peasants leering at her from the punchbowl.” By the time most women go shopping for a husband, they have acquired the skills that will make them girlfriend material but lost the qualities that would make them good wife material. And then they are surprised when men turn away from marriage.

Did you hear that sound? I think someone’s head just exploded.

What men find attractive.

We’ve all seen the lists that women compile, but two can play at that game. Here is a very good one for men:

“…ideal Beauty can vary depending on culture, but there are still certain physical features in women that carry across most cultures: a feminine face with strong facial symmetry, large breasts, a low waist-to-hip ratio, smooth and unblemished skin, etc. Beauty is essentially a purely visual attribute,  indeed well over 95% of that which men use to determine the attractiveness of a woman falls under visual Beauty… the remaining features which determine attractiveness include how the woman smells, what her voice sounds like, and what her body feels like to the touch.”

Someone recently tweeted two graphs, ostensibly taken from a prominent dating site: The first graph shows what women consider to the the perfect age for a man:

Age Graph for men“My age plus or minus five years”

The second was what men consider the perfect age for a woman:

 Age Graph for women“twenty-one plus or minus three years”

What is amazing to me is that the person who tweeted the graphs described them as “disturbing”. I can only surmise that it must have been a woman, as I, like most men, found them a statement of the obvious. The fact is that a twenty-one-year-old-“hottie” will be lusted after by pretty much every male she meets — from thirteen-year-old boys whose hormones have just dropped all the way up to ninety-nine-year-old-geezers on their deathbeds. Some people (i.e., older/less attractive women) don’t like this, which is understandable. But just like the female predilection for cute shoes and drama, the male sex drive is not up for negotiation, and they are simply arguing with biology. Most women prefer men who are tall, strong, confident, dominant and independent, but get upset when men chase after women who are young, slim, pretty, submissive and vulnerable. You can’t argue with biology, and you can’t negotiate attraction.

What is annoying is that some are seeking to criminalize unwanted behavior — there are actually folks out there who want any kind of unwanted advances to be labeled as “harassment”. The problem with that is the difference between “cool” and “creepy” behavior is simply one of attraction, and as such, is highly subjective and arbitrary. Any law which keeps bad/undesirable men from approaching a woman will also keep the hot/attractive guys away as well. Good luck with that…

You. Me. Lunch

In conclusion, a few sayings that to mind:

  1. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder“. This means he decides how attractive you are. Not you, your friends, or the media.
  2. Self Praise is no recommendation” Women talking about how “hot” they are automatically lose points.
  3. Beauty = Fertility + Love” My own work, I believe, but it explains why a man will remain attracted to a woman after her looks are gone. It also explains why divorced women find it much harder than they expected to get a date — her husband’s treatment of her may have caused her to inflate her value. As a bonus, it also has the added effect of making certain people’s heads explode.
  4. Men age like wine. Women age like milk“. Dunno where i heard this one, but the more I ruminate on it, the truer it becomes.

Food for thought

A disparate and semi-random collection of random nutrition-related thoughts and opinions:

  • “Cow’s milk is natures perfect food… if you are a baby cow” (Mark Hyman)
  • Fat doesn’t make you fat; sugar makes you fat. Decades of low-fat diets have left us fatter than ever. But when the manufacturers removed the fat, what was left tasted horrible, so to make it taste better they added… sugar.
  • Unhealthy Breakfast:.Cereal + Fruit Juice + Toast.
  • Healthy Breakfast: Eggs + Ham + Fruit
  • Whole Milk Good. Low-fat milk Bad. Fat-free/skim milk Ugly
  • The three most profitable foods in the supermarket are soda, salty snacks and breakfast cereal. You don’t actually need any of them.
  • If is doesn’t rot, don’t eat it.
  • You don’t need much sugar to function: Normal blood glucose level is 100mg/dL. Which is a gram per liter. You have five liters of blood on average. So the sum total of your blood glucose is about five grams – which is about a teaspoon of sugar.
  • Restaurant food is bad for you: They want you to enjoy the experience, so to make the food taste better they add sugar and/or salt. So… if you’re fat, stay out of restaurants… unless you work there.
  • Eat Butter.
  • Drink lots of water. There is no habit as conducive to long-term health as drinking plenty of water.
  • “If it tastes good, spit it out”
  • Walk! Americans do not walk enough. Get a pedometer (or install a pedometer app on your smartphone)
  • Sugar is a poison – treat it as such.
  • Avoid white foods
  • Shop “on the edge”. Most supermarkets have the fresh (perishable) foods around the edges of the store, with the non-perishable stuff (Twinkies, anyone?) in the center, mainly for logistical reasons. This works to your advantage. Staying out of the middle makes shopping simpler, too.

Equal Pay Day

Or: Lies, damned lies and statistics.

It is a well-known fact that women earn 77 cents for every dollar that men make. The president even mentioned it in his recent State of the Union address.

Close, but no cigar. The first part of president’s statement (“women make up about half our workforce, but they still make 77 cents for every dollar a man earns...”) and the second part (“That is wrong, and in 2014, it’s an embarrassment. Women deserve equal pay for equal work.“) are not congruent with each other.

It is true that the “average” woman earns substantially less than the “average” man, but the use of “Averages” can be dangerously misleading when not comparing like with like. For instance: The Average Oil Rig worker, Plumber, Farmer or Engineer is male, while the Average Primary School Teacher, Nurse, Cheerleader or Human-Resources Paper-shuffler is female. Which jobs are more hazardous? Which are more valuable? Which should be paid more?

Another factor is personal priorities: Women generally choose jobs that revolve around their lifestyles and family commitments. Man generally arrange their lifestyles and family commitments around their work. “Many working mothers seek jobs that provide greater flexibility, such as telecommuting or flexible hours. Not all jobs can be flexible, and all other things being equal, those which are will pay less than those that do not”. This means that men are more valuable to their employers than women. A man who will travel on business at a moment’s notice is more useful to a company than a women who, quite reasonably, puts her family first. The conclusion is obvious: more useful => more valuable => higher pay.

According to recent government statistics, salaried men and salaried women doing the same job generally get paid within 5% of each other (“Single women who have never married earned 96% of men’s earnings in 2012.”). Sometimes the women earn more (particularly in big cities), sometimes the men. (example: Female pharmacists made $1,871 per week, males made $1,879).

Salaried men work longer hours than salaried women. “Men were almost twice as likely as women to work more than 40 hours a week, and women almost twice as likely to work only 35 to 39 hours per week.” This leads to an alarming thought: If women work shorter hours and get the same pay, who is really being shortchanged?

It is easy to hear a sympathetic-sounding soundbite and perceive an inequality, but the fact is that women in America already enjoy more protections and privilege than do women anywhere in the world throughout the course of recorded history. But the final nail in the coffin of this dangerous misconception is the straight-face test: If women really did the same work as men for less pay, why haven’t the “greedy” corporations fired all the men, replaced them with a cheaper all-female workforce, and profited off the difference? The answer is obvious: men must bring something to the workforce that women generally don’t.

Happy Equal Pay Day. If you believe that sort of thing.

Statistics taken from The Bureau of Labor Statistics report “Highlights of Women’s Earnings in 2012“.

Quotes taken from “The ’77 Cents on the Dollar’ Myth About Women’s Pay” (Wall Street Journal)

Which One’s Worship?

We show up in droves, early, so as to get a good seat. We hand over the proscribed portion of our income without thinking; that’s just the way it is. The buzz, the anticipation builds as the band starts up. We stand and sing along. We raise our voices and sing loud. We roar our hearts out. Some of us raise our hands. Most of us yell ourselves hoarse. It is exciting, passionate and joyous. Enraptured, we lose ourselves in the experience. We go home satisfied and fulfilled, and celebrate until the wee small hours of the morning. Some of us will remember this day for years to come.

Sunday morning sidles up like an unwanted bailiff, and we drag our sorry carcases to church. We dribble in late; sometimes because of last night’s celebration, but mostly because we can – this is church, and it’s not like they are going to lock the doors on us. Only about 15% of us tithe; the rest of us can’t afford to. Some of us sing along to the songs, the rest of us just mouth the words. A few of us raise our hands. Many of us are annoyed about some aspect of the music – too loud/too soft/not my style – and we just fold our arms and wonder how soon it will be before we can sit down again. During the sermon we think about what we will have for lunch and jot down our shopping list for this afternoon. The preacher sums up the four key points of his sermon. By the time we leave, we will have forgotten three of them; by tomorrow we will have forgotten the fourth. But that’s ok, as none of them applies to us. After church we meet up with friends, and talk about what a great time we had at last night’s game.

Which one is true worship? You decide.

ObamaCare: My Predictions

Here are my predictions over the next twelve months. Some are good, some are not so good. I leave it up to you, Dear Reader, to decide which is which…

  • Most people will end up paying more for healthcare. (easy one, this)
  • Now that more people have to pay full price for their prescription drugs, there will be calls to rein in the “greedy” drug companies.
  • Health Insurance companies will announce record profits.
  • People will start shopping around for cheaper healthcare and will start asking Medical Professionals lots of awkward questions that they would prefer not to answer.
  • Doctors who offer cut-price fee-for-service (or subscription-based) no-insurance medical care will suddenly find themselves in great demand.
  • People will start actually reading their medical bills.
  • Someone in Congress will suggest that the Big Food/Processed Food/Fast Food industries should put something in the ObamaCare pot, on the very sensible grounds that they are the ones who made made America fat and sick.
  • Taxes will have to go up to finance this debacle. This is an easy prediction, as taxes always go up (unless we have a Republican president).
  • Congress will find a creative way to make the money disappear (easy one, this).
  • Young/skinny/healthy folks will continue to eschew medical insurance, preferring to pay a penalty rather than subsidizing the old/fat/sick population. Nobody will complain until someone goes to jail for refusing health insurance coverage.
  • The Democratic politicians who rammed this bill through Congress will spend most of next year trying to pretend that they and nothing to do with it
  • The electorate won’t fall for it; they will be seeking new employment at the end of the year.