Category Archives: Men and Women

No Good Deed…

Here’s a story from the Land Down Under.

Kenan Basic, a 36-year-old carpenter, stopped to help a nineteen-year-old woman by the name of Caitlyn Gray, whose car had broken down. He repaired her car, they hugged each other, and she went on her way.

She then went to the police and swore out a complaint accusing him of stalking her, asking her for sex, and groping her.

Mr Basic was then arrested and and charged with indecent assault, and jailed. He was denied bail. He was in jail for a week. He lost his job, and his wife filed for divorce.

Who is this paragon of pulchritude that Mr Basic risked his very liberty to proposition and grope? What does she look like?

When the police could not find any surveillance video or any other corroborating evidence to support her story, they became skeptical. Finally, she admitted that she had made the whole story up.

He was vindicated and released. She was found guilty of “knowingly making a false statement.

She has been jailed for nine months, five of which are mandatory before parole… but unlike him, she was immediately granted bail.

Apparently the presumption of innocence only applies if you are female.

He plans to sue. And he should.

Just Believe

Just believe that Christine Ford was raped! sexually assaulted by Brett Cavanaugh. Even though:

  • She can’t remember where it was…
  • …or when it was…
  • …or how she got there…
  • …or how she got home afterwards…
  • …and she can’t produce one single witness to corroborate her account of what happened…
  • …or answer any of the above questions.

Just believe her.


Just believe Jussie Smollet when he says that he was set upon by white supremacists wearing MAGA hats who beat him, put a “noose” around his neck and poured bleach on him. Even though:

  • No surveillance video in the area showed the crime…
  • …or the perpetrators approaching or leaving…
  • …but they found a pair of Nigerian bodybuilders…
  • …who were associates of Mr Smollet…
  • …who were paid by him (by check) for “personal training”…
  • …and were caught on video buying bleach and rope.

Just believe him.


Just believe the authorities who say that that Jeffery Epstein committed suicide. Even though:

  • He was supposedly in a “suicide-proof” cell…
  • …while on suicide watch…
  • …which had been rescinded less than a week after he last attempted suicide…
  • …with no working cameras in the cell…
  • …and a pair of sleeping guards…
  • …who subsequently falsified the records…
  • …shortly after he agreed to a plea deal where he would agree to name prominent pedophiles.

Just believe them.


Pull the other one, it’s got bells on it.

Barking up the Wrong Tree

This one’s been a long time coming…

The title of the video says it all. “Why Ms Independent can’t find Mr. Right“. There’s the rub; Mr Right isn’t looking for Ms. Independent. He isn’t looking for “Mizz” anything. He is looking for Miss Young, kind, feminine, selfless, and slender. Let’s cut to the tape…

0:05 “Founder of I’m-sick-of-single dot com…”. But… you’re… still… single! Right out of the gate she shows how unqualified she is to give this advice. Why are single women taking advice on marriage from other single women? Come back when you’ve been married for a decade. Maybe then you will have an opinion worth listening to.

0:17 She then shows her true colors with a shout-out to “all my Independent women“. Ladies, quality men do *not* want an “independent woman”. They want a kind, caring, feminine woman who adds value to their life.

0:30 She follows it up with a rambling rant about how women wait on men, with the inference that they shouldn’t have to. Fair point. In a perfect world, women would approach men and ask for the date. I have no problem with that. But they don’t. Why not? Because they don’t want to. Why not? Because women are risk-averse, and rarely, if ever open themselves up to rejection. At risk of sounding sexist, that’s our job.

1:13 “The reason you can’t find Mister Right is not because you’re not beautiful…”. Um, yes it probably is. The sad truth is that most women are attractive enough to marry for about twelve years. Deep down, I think most women understand this, which might explain their stampede for the altar as 30 looms. After that they are attractive enough for commitment-free sex for about another twelve. After that, we’re simply not interested in you anymore, and you have to take what you can get.

1:41 The Scripture reference that she quoted (Proverbs 18:22, in case you were wondering) is disingenuous. She is cherry-picking one verse of scripture and taking it out of context. The flaw in her logic is that she is assuming that every woman is wife material; but there are many verses of scripture that debunk this: for instance  Proverbs 31: “An excellent wife who can find?” confirms that good wives are valuable and RARE. Another is Proverbs 30:20, which speaks to the deceit that so many women practice. This is laugh-out-loud funny; tell women that most men are not husband material and they will enthusiastically agree. But tell them that most of them are not wife material, and one of them will probably get angry enough to run a key down the side of your car.

2:00 “The courage to Flirt First” – Good point. But she fails to point out that the number-one reason why men no longer approach is… other women. Most of us have watched other men’s lives ruined by a vengeful female. Did you really think that #MeToo would not come with unintended consequences?

Also, if you are trying to find a man, get off your phone. I have heard men referring to a woman’s phone as her “digital boyfriend”, and we tend to assume that a “busy” woman with her head buried in her phone is probably checking for hot guys on social media. Husband-material men are not looking for that.

Oh, and “resting bitch face”, as she puts it; is a huge turn-off: if we want a woman who brings joy onto our lives, we’re not crossing the room for a woman who doesn’t know how to smile. Most women want a man who makes her laugh; most men want a woman who brings happiness and joy with her. Show us that you can.

3:00 “Larry the Lame” – aaaand here comes the name-calling. Too often we hear complaints that “Men aren’t masculine anymore”, and now she’s saying that a man who approaches without permission is “Larry the lame”? Make up your mind!

3:20 Then she goes on to say: “I don’t want you to stereotype Larry…” But… you… just… did!

3:30 “Every Larry is lame as it pertains to character” So you can tell a man’s character based solely upon him walking up to you without waiting for an invitation?

4:20: “Gary the Good Guy.. that’s the guy you should be talking to“. I call shenanigans. I used to be that guy. You left us in the friendzone in your early twenties when you went off to have fun. You ignored while you partied their way through your teens and twenties… and only started looking around for him when your looks started to fade. If you want one of these guys, you have to get him early, while you’re young. But you didn’t, did you?

4:50 “You are over online dating” So why were you there? Oh yes, fun and adventures (aka hookups) with hot guys. I rest my case.

5:05: “Half the guys online report to be more interested in more interested in being a hookup than a husband“. Only half? I’m shocked! So half the guys online dating are looking for a wife? I find that hard to believe. Color me surprised. I always assumed that online dating was a meat market. But any road up, if he wants to be a hookup rather than a husband, he does not consider you wife material, and never did, and is using you for pleasure. There is one simple way to weed them out: Don’t sleep with them! Problem solved.

5:18 “…and many of the other guys online misrepresent themselves…” And women don’t? Social media is rife with pictures of women that were taken ten years, thirty pounds and three babies ago. Or so I’m told. And don’t get me started on make-up, artful poses and filters.

Yeah, men are so deceitful.

6:10: “When I interview bachelors, I axe them What is the worst thing you have ever done to a woman you love?” This is intellectually dishonest and one-sided. It is true that running up her credit cards, impregnating another woman and physical abuse are signs of a low-quality man, but sticking with a man who did that is a sign of a low-quality woman, and she never addresses that. Oh, and while you’re at it, why not “axe” the ladies the same question? Probably because you don’t want to hear the answer. Oh, and stop saying “axe” when you mean “ask”!

7:20: “So although he knows you deserve better…” This is bunk. He knows no such thing.  “You deserve better” is something women routinely say to each other, but men universally understand that you deserve what you can get, and nothing more. Ladies, stop talking about what you (think you) deserve.

She then paints a picture of a shy, awkward woman who would rather put up with a bad, abusive manipulative man than have to start again, then ends with “you won’t be home stressed, you’ll be out with the next”.

It all goes downhill from there.

  • She talks at length about how to approach men, but fails to address how to handle the inevitable rejection that too many of these women will face when the approach men who are not interested in them, or men they “choose” who refuse to “chase”.
  • She talks about men appreciating a woman who is strong, confident and charming (“That’s a man, baby!”) and other “equality” twaddle.
  • She then teaches women to use the same “pick-up” game that women seem to universally demonize when men do it.
  • She talks about her “Bae” (who is obviously *not* her husband).

Ladies, if you are serious about finding a quality husband, here is the Wizard’s advice:

  1. Don’t wait. No, you don’t have time, and anyone who tells you otherwise is lying to you. The average woman has about twelve years of “hot” (attractive enough to marry), followed by about fifty years of “not”, so the decisions she makes during those twelve years are critical. Yes, there are exceptions; no, you’re probably not one of them. The most cursory of observation shows that too many women misuse that almost-magical power to party through their their teens and twenties with Billy Badboy and his friends, then go looking for Gordon Goodguy when she is “ready for marriage” (by an amazing coincidence, this is usually when Billy and his friends lose interest in her). This plan doesn’t work for diligent, disciplined, dutiful, quality men with options; we want your twenties, so don’t come to us at 35 and offer us bad-boy leftovers. When it comes to long-term commitment, we want to be your first choice, not your last resort.
  2. Stay Slim. Women are generally not attracted to men who are short, puny, lazy or broke. This is natural and reasonable. But women are not the ones who have deal-breakers, and top-quality men, like attractive women, can afford to be picky. Such men are generally not attracted to women who are fat, sassy, bold, brassy, bossy, busy, and selfish. For some reason, those same women with a long list of bullet-points of what constitutes “the perfect guy” find this to be unfair.
  3. Be Real. Nothing says “good men stay away” like tattoos, piercings and unnatural hair coloring. The fewer tattoos and piercings you have, the more likely you will be considered to be potential wife material. Yes, we know you don’t like it. No, we don’t care.
  4. Understand your value. These days it seems that women almost universally overestimate their attractiveness; the cute ones think that they are pretty, the pretty ones think they are gorgeous. Maybe it’s social media, broadcast media, or well-meaning friends and family. But whatever the cause, it has become so bad that “six-nine syndrome” – where a girl is above-average but thinks that she is a drop-dead-gorgeous – is a thing. The reason that this is a problem is because it fools women into pursuing men who are not really interested in them, but may choose to use them for pleasure for a while before discarding them and moving on. You have been warned.
  5. Don’t confuse casual sexual interest with marriage interest. To misquote Forrest Gump: “Marriage is like a box of chocolates; all the good ones are gone first“. And if you wait too long, all that’s left will be some half-eaten toffees and the Nougat that nobody wants. In America, the average female loses her virginity at 15. Men will get physical with promiscuous women, but will not marry them. Understand that if he sees you as promiscuous he will not marry you. Nor should he.
  6. Don’t take advice from people who are just as lost as you are. Too many single women take their advice from other single women. Seek out happily married women. Or better yet, listen to your Granny. She knows what she’s talking about.

Of Girls and Cars

Corvettes, Cadillacs, Classics and Clunkers – Ten ways that women are like cars.

The Italians have a proverb: “Women are the cars, men are the drivers“. Every man of consequence knows that there is much truth in this statement, but whenever a man compares women with cars, there is always some woman who gets all bent out of shape at the analogy. They usually say something like “OhMyGod! women are soooo much more important than cars!“. They may have a point; most men put more effort into buying a car than choosing a wife, but that doesn’t mean that the analogy is without merit. Any road up, I thought I would take this opportunity to contribute a few thoughts on the matter.

  1. Men are the buyers. A great man once said that women are the gatekeepers of sex, while men are the gatekeepers of commitment. Think about the new-car showroom. In the front are the bright shiny sleek and svelte sports cars (usually dressed in red), And towards the back are the the less showy, less desirable, more reliable and more affordable family cars. Personally, I have never much liked SUVs, they are large gas-guzzlers, Maybe they are the fat chicks. I suppose the comparison goes only so far. Women love to dress up and present themselves to be chosen, but when it comes to commitment, it is the men who make the purchasing decision.
  2. They are all the same…sort of: Cars come in all different shapes and sizes; they use different fuels and different technologies.  Even though cars are all different they all operate in pretty much the same way, from opening the door, starting the vehicle, steering, accelerating and braking. In the same way, women are running the same basic firmware, and are subject to the same temptations, pressures, and fears. And every one of them thinks that she is the exception.
  3. New is *far* more valuable than used. New cars command a far higher price than used ones. Beauty is mostly youth; young women can command astronomical levels of attention, affection and commitment from men far more easily than their older sistren, who often have to fight just to get noticed. This is why older women are so quick to make snarky comments about younger women; they’re jealous.
  4. The price is always negotiable. All women like to pretend that they are marriage material, but most are not; the most well-used of specimens still wants to believe that she will get to wear the white dress on the big day. A wise buyer will never pay full price for a used car.
  5. Exotic/high-maintenance or affordable/reliable? Like cars, women require a certain amount of maintenance, expense, effort and investment. The opportunity cost of a wife can easily run into six figures. Like exotic supercars, the most desirable ones are temperamental and require high-maintenance, and only the best of men can afford them.
  6. Heavy Depreciation: Female beauty depreciates heavily with age, misuse and abuse. Driving a car off the dealer lot requires a huge expenditure for something that loses a huge chunk of its value in a relatively short time. As a general rule, women have about twelve years of peak attractiveness, which explains the stampede to the altar as the big three-oh looms.
  7. Classics are rare… Like cars, some women appreciate into classics, but 99% depreciate into junkers and clunkers and end up on the scrapheap. There are, of course, exceptions — but they are rare, and statistically speaking, she’s probably not one of ’em.
  8. …but clunkers are common: These days, most are ex-rentals, well-used and oft-abused. And some have some “Junk in the trunk”. This is why quality men are encouraged to avoid single mothers like the proverbial plague (“once you have bred, you are of no use to me“), and single mothers often have to resort to shaming tactics (“it takes a real man to get with a single mom“) to get commitment that most of them do not deserve. Feminine beauty has a short shelf-life; remember: “The looks that drive men wild at sixteen are gone at thirty“.
  9. Show me the HoFax! The best cars have had one driver from new. But it is far, far easier these days for a girl to ruin herself, and then hide the evidence (see Proverbs 30: 20), and these days, it that is the rule rather then the exception. So she will never tell you how many STDs she has had, how many abortions she has had, how many men she has slept with… and even if she does, the answer will never be trust worthy, because it is in her interest to lie. Napoleon Bonaparte reputedly said “Every woman is a whore except for my mother and my daughter“, so a good rule of thumb is to treat every girl with suspicion until she has proven otherwise. Gently used might be sufficient, but be diligent and ignore the salesman’s lies. And for heaven’s sake, stay away from the ex-rental that has a history of having been driven by a different random maniac every weekend.
  10. Routine maintenance is essential. Both need to be driven hard and serviced regularly. With proper maintenance, they will hold up well and give you years of trouble-free service.

Full disclosure: I am the proud owner of a lovely little runner. Drove her off the factory floor, brand-spanking-new. I have been the only driver. Got a lot of miles on her, but they are all mine, and the upholstery is shaped to the exact contours of my bum. There are a few squeaks and rattles, but she handles well and knows all the corners. That’s what a classic looks like. I’m going to keep this one till the wheels fall off.

The Analogy Stands

Be Unkind

I have been a member of Stack Overflow for nearly six years. It is a truly great resource for solving IT technical problems.

Recently they announced a change in their Code of Conduct. Whenever I see a change in the rules, I always ask myself “Why?”. I checked it out, and the sub-heading grabbed my attention:

The word “Kindness” jumped off the page. This is a site for people with knowledge to share and solve technical problems. Let’s look at the examples that they gave:

Looking at the “correct” versions, they are far more wordy and verbose than their terse, brief versions. So why the obsession with Kindness? Then the answer hit me:

Girls

The “correct” answers on the right are the kind of flowery, fluffy, unnecessarily verbose replies that are written by girls. I have found that when it comes to writing assignments, women tend to write a lot more than men, and they concentrate a lot more on presentation, while men are generally more terse and concise.

Men are (or should be) raised to be as impervious as possible to insult; “sticks and stones”, and all that. We insult each other to motivate each other. We rag on each other to toughen each other up. No less than an authority than the bible says: “As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another“. In another place, it says: “The wounds of a friend are to be trusted“. We live in a harsh reality, but that’s just the way it is.

Girls, on the other hand, operate by a different set of rules. They are highly susceptible to shaming language, and as a result are often far more easily offended. Women say sexist things all the time, such as “All men are dogs“, and we are encouraged to suck it up – and we do. But try saying something like “All women are…” in today’s corporate culture, and you may very well find yourself both unemployed and unemployable. So much for “Equality”.

As a counterpoint, let me take you back to the last century, to an article written by one Eric S Raymond, called “How To Ask Questions The Smart Way“, which deals with precisely this subject:

What we are, unapologetically, is hostile to people who seem to be unwilling to think or to do their own homework before asking questions. People like that are time sinks — they take without giving back, and they waste time we could have spent on another question more interesting and another person more worthy of an answer.

We’re (largely) volunteers. We take time out of busy lives to answer questions, and at times we’re overwhelmed with them. So we filter ruthlessly. In particular, we throw away questions from people who appear to be losers in order to spend our question-answering time more efficiently, on winners.

If you find this attitude obnoxious, condescending, or arrogant, check your assumptions. We’re not asking you to genuflect to us — in fact, most of us would love nothing more than to deal with you as an equal and welcome you into our culture, if you put in the effort required to make that possible. But it’s simply not efficient for us to try to help people who are not willing to help themselves. It’s OK to be ignorant; it’s not OK to play stupid.

So, while it isn’t necessary to already be technically competent to get attention from us, it is necessary to demonstrate the kind of attitude that leads to competence — alert, thoughtful, observant, willing to be an active partner in developing a solution. If you can’t live with this sort of discrimination, we suggest you pay somebody for a commercial support contract instead of asking hackers to personally donate help to you.

Returning to StackOverflow, it is obvious to me that this rule change was put into place for one purpose and one purpose only: to make the site more “female friendly”. The unintended consequence of this change is that the vast majority of contributors to the site will now have to write far more than they need to in order to jump through linguistic hoops to make sure that those with frail constitutions are not offended. Faced with the extra effort, many will simply not bother to respond.This is not a call for unnecessary cruelty; I am all for courtesy, and there are some things that one simply does not say in public conversation. But mandating speech, requiring us to say certain things, is not the way to go about solving this problems.

Ladies, if you are that easily offended, perhaps the Internet is not the place for you.

Ten things that you didn’t know about Roe v Wade

Source: Pixabay

  1. “Jane Roe” was no angel: The woman in the case, Norma Corvey, had been in and out of prison and had already had two children before she was twenty. She was, in her own words “unemployable and depressed”, and when she got pregnant for the third time, she didn’t want the child.
  2. By hook or by crook: At the time, the law in Texas prohibited abortions. She was advised by friends to file a false rape accusation, which she did. The accusation was (rightly) dismissed because she didn’t report the rape to the police at the time. When that didn’t work, she tried to get an illegal abortion, only to find that the clinics near her had been closed down by law enforcement. In desperation, she found a pair of female lawyers who took the case all the way to the Supreme Court.
  3. The case was moot: Norma never had an abortion.The child who triggered the case was put up for adoption.
  4. Roe v Wade was never about “Women’s rights”: The case was heard by the Supreme Court as a privacy issue, not as an abortion issue. The case was fought primarily as a right for physicians to practice medicine freely and with a minimum of federal oversight
  5. The right to life is important: In its ruling, The Supreme Court found that the state’s duty to protect life outweighed the mother’s privacy rights at the point where the fetus was viable. In the 70s, viability was about six months. Today it is abut four. When artificial womb technology becomes available, that will effectively drop to zero, at which point viability will, at least theoretically, trump abortion.
  6. The case was not fought on the morality of abortion: One of the arguments was whether consent to sex equaled consent to parenthood. The court rightly found no such equality.
  7. The trimester model: A woman had the right to an abortion during the first trimester. During the third Trimester, the fetus was viable, and abortion would therefore be murder. the “trimester model” was dismantled in subsequent Supreme Court cases.
  8. It is Constitutional. Sort of…: In its majority finding, The Court deemed abortion a fundamental right under the United States Constitution… even though there is nothing in the constitution that deals directly with the matter. Legitimizing abortion is “a matter of privacy” is a joke, as it does not supersede the “right to life” enshrined in the Declaration of Independence.
  9. Roe V Wade is a bad law: Since the case was settled, many Supreme Court justices have said that Roe v Wade was a bad decision. A prime example was none other than Ruth Bader Ginsberg https://www.law.uchicago.edu/news/justice-ruth-bader-ginsburg-offers-critique-roe-v-wade-during-law-school-visit
    Jane Roe is anti-abortion:
  10. Roe Repented: Norma Corvey subsequently regretted her actions and the landmark case which bears her name. She went on to become a pro-life advocate. Before she died, she created a website called www.endroe.org.

Roe V Wade… for men?

There is a lot of noise coming from the “Loony Left” that President Trump is bent on “Reversing Roe v Wade”. As with so much that comes from the liberal media, this is a complete red herring; he has said no such thing, and there is absolutely no evidence to support this. (Returning abortion decisions to the states is not repeal, it is simply following the constitution). Nor would it be easy; a “settled law” Supreme Court case cannot easily be reversed by Executive Order, the only thing that can stand against it is legislation – and that has to come from Congress.

This got me thinking… instead of reversing Roe v Wade, why not expand it? We live in an age of equality, so why not expand Roe v. Wade to apply to men as well?

Right now you are thinking that the Wizard has lost his marbles. “Men can’t get pregnant, so how can abortion be an issue?” And you would be right, except for one thing: Roe v Wade was not about abortion. That was the practical upshot, to be sure, but the plaintiffs did not fight the case on the morality or merits of abortion-on-demand; they would have lost that argument. Instead, the case hinged on one simple question:

“Is consent to sex consent to parenthood?”

The court, quite rightly, said no, and that was how the case was won. A woman cannot be forced to have a child against her will. So far so good. But by the same token, if a man doesn’t want a child, why should he be forced to pay for it?

The sad fact is that an increasing number of women are mis-using their fertility as a way to collect dollars from wealthy, desirable men. And they are getting it. Some women are getting pregnant for famous sports starts and then taking them to court, often for ridiculous sums. This practice needs to stop.

A few simple changes to the law are all that is needed to fix this:

  • No child support for children born out of wedlock with the father.
  • Compulsory paternity testing at birth.
  • Standardized or itemized child support costs.

Most men would look at that list and find it to be fundamentally just. Many women will consider it fundamentally unjust. But a woman who is pregnant has three ways to avoid the burden of parenthood; abortion, adoption or legal abandonment. Men have none. Even men who are the victims of statutory rape by an adult woman are still on the hook for eighteen years of child support if she gets pregnant. This has to change, otherwise men will continue to disengage.

…or, we can just keep doing what we are doing and hoping for a different result. Good luck with that.

Truth and Consequences

Henry Cavill is an actor who recently got himself into a spot of bother with a horde of yammering harpies. In an interview with GQ, he said the following:

“Stuff has to change, absolutely,” he adds, addressing men’s behavior. “It’s important to also retain the good things, which were a quality of the past, and get rid of the bad things.

“There’s something wonderful about a man chasing a woman. There’s a traditional approach to that, which is nice. I think a woman should be wooed and chased, but maybe I’m old-fashioned for thinking that.

“It’s very difficult to do that if there are certain rules in place. Because then it’s like: ‘Well, I don’t want to go up and talk to her, because I’m going to be called a rapist or something’. So you’re like, ‘Forget it, I’m going to call an ex-girlfriend instead, and then just go back to a relationship, which never really worked’. But it’s way safer than casting myself into the fires of hell, because I’m someone in the public eye, and if I go and flirt with someone, then who knows what’s going to happen?
“Now? Now you really can’t pursue someone further than, ‘No’. It’s like, ‘OK, cool’. But then there’s the, ‘Oh why’d you give up?’ And it’s like, ‘Well, because I didn’t want to go to jail?’”

Unsurprisingly, the girlies went nuts. Here are a couple of their offerings

It’s not about rape, sweetheart, and you know it. And it is not about men trying to “position themselves as “victims”” either. This is an example of a female trying to move the goalposts by changing the subject.

You wish. His exact words were “wooed and chased”, which clearly shows romantic, rather then terroristic, intentions. Oh, and I’ve seen your picture; you have little to worry about.

Everything he said was 100% true. The irony is that a man talking to a magazine that is ostensibly aimed at other men (GQ, if you didn’t know it, stands for Gentleman’s Quarterly) can cause such ire among a bunch of women. This is not about rape or sexual harassment, it is about perceptions, accusations, trial-by-media and witch-hunts. We now live in an age where a man’s life can be ruined over one accusation without any proof; Google “Brian Banks” if you don’t believe me.

For men in the twenty-first century, the ground is shifting under their feet. First it was rape; a serious crime that is committed by about 5% of men, but for which the other 95% are somehow guilty by association and are therefore responsible for policing and fixing.

Then it was Sexual Assault, which, while also a crime, is often far less serious; touching a woman inappropriately — and the term is often loosely defined — is most often solved by confronting, either with words or a good old-fashioned slap, and requires jail time only in the most extreme cases.

Having made men aware that inappropriate touching is bad, they them moved on to the next target; Sexual Harassment. Once upon a time, powerful men hired pretty young secretaries to look pretty, fondle, and occasionally sleep with. If truth be told, many of today’s powerful men probably miss those days, but they are gone. And I suspect that at least a few pretty young girls are probably upset that the powerful big-shots in the corner offices are forever beyond their reach, thanks to the advent of the Pence Rule, an entirely rational reaction to the specter of Sexual Harassment.

Almost all employers are now bending over backwards to make sure that we are aware of (i.e., they can’t be sued over) sexual harassment. Which will kill any chances of a young woman finding a husband in the workplace, cos all of the high-value guys are either Gay, already taken, or understandably gun-shy.

Cavill’s biggest mistake, in my opinion, was apologizing. To be fair, his apology was actually for the confusion that his remarks may have caused, but to the horde of yammering Social Justice Harpies yapping at his heels, it was a victory and another male scalp to add to their collection. My take on this is to never apologize for being right, Misunderstandings should be cleared up, but not from a position of submission. If I had a say in the matter, I would have advised Mr. Cavill to call a press conference and say the following:

“There are some in the media who would chide me for my use of words. They would say that the word “chase” makes some women feel uncomfortable. However, it should be obvious to anyone with an ounce of sense that the word was used correctly in context. Most men understand that #MeToo is in danger of morphing from a genuine grievance, to something that looks a lot like trial-by-media and punishment without due process. If you are one of those who is that easily offended by a misunderstanding, you just made my point for me. Thank you.”

Ladies, changing society to make you feel more comfortable is all well and good, but don’t think for a minute that such change comes without consequences. And one of those consequences is that in the age of #MeToo, the only men who can effortlessly approach women are men who have nothing to lose.

Good luck to you

Wooly Thinking

I came across this story in Psychology today. The story is a few years old, but I am amazed at how deliberately misinformed, if not disingenuous, someone can be.

Is Marriage Worth the Trouble For Women? The benefits go mostly to men.

Let’s start at the very beginning:

A casual look at how marriage is represented in popular culture may lead one to conclude that ending up at the altar is the ultimate female desire.

It is. Men don’t fantasize about getting married. Women have been known to.

Wedding magazines are aimed almost exclusively at brides, not grooms.

They are. Women spend far more on magazines than do men. And nobody ever went broke telling women what they desperately wanted to hear.

Reality TV shows highlight Bridezillas, not Groomzillas, and The Bachelor, in which multiple women vie for a ring, is a ratings juggernaut.

They are. Men don’t watch reality TV. Look at the adverts; who are they aimed at?

The central attraction in the pageant of the average wedding is reserved for the bride’s dress, while the groom’s attire receives little billing.

Working as designed. Women will spend big money on fashion. Man is the only animal species where the female wears the plumage.

Pop culture queen Beyoncé herself has famously admonished men that if they like it, then they should put a ring on it.

And most girls look like Beyoncé… NOT! If did, I’m sure that you would have no shortage of suitors. This is a classic Apex Fallacy.

Proverbs 31 says “An excellent wife, who can find? Her value is greater than rubies”. Translation: Most women ain’t wife material.If he ain’t “putting a ring on it” it’s probably because you are unworthy.

Men, on the other hand, are often depicted as commitment phobic, having to be conned or whipped into marriage, or dragged to the altar against their deeply promiscuous nature, which abhors long-term monogamy.

Close but no cigar. Decades ago, women were far more chaste and feminine than they are now. They had the requisite skills that made them good wives. I would posit that feminism has caused women to behave like men, and men have rationally started behaving like boys. As women invaded colleges and the workplace en masse, taking up more and more traditional male spaces and, men have become increasingly sidelined, less educated, less affluent, less able to support a family. Women have also put off marriage into their late twenties and early thirties, denying marriage-minded men of the youth, beauty and fertility that they crave and would pay the ultimate price for.

Both women and men have inherently become both less marriage-minded, and less marriageable. But since the men are the deciders of commitment, when they balk, women, ever reluctant to admit their faults, are quick to portray them as marriage-averse. But I have seen too many women who want to be a bride, but not a wife. It’s not that we don’t want to marry; it’s that we don’t want to marry you.

The notion of a “midlife crisis,” during which men are bound to jettison their old wives for a new, younger trophy model is also a familiar cultural trope.

…while the notion of wives who get fat and bitchy, deny their husbands sex (it is estimated that 80% of ten-year-plus marriages are essentially sexless) while holding the specter of divorce-induced financial ruination over his head, remains safely ignored.

Oh, and the “trope” is generally untrue; very few men “trade in” for the very good reason that most men can’t afford it. Another Apex Fallacy, methinks. Seriously. How many of the divorces you know of follow this pattern?

Marriage, we have been led to believe, is a natural habitat for women, but a stifling cage for men. Thus goes the popular fantasy. However, in the real world of data, things shake out quite a bit differently.

We’ll see about that

First, confounding the view of marriage as the female heaven and haven is the fact that marriage actually appears to benefit men more than it does women.

Yes, marriage is good for men. And Divorce is an absolute bloody disaster. And the Divorce rate is 50%. If a man is going into a deal where there is a fifty-fifty chance of having his head taken off, there had better be some serious benefits for him. This obvious and incontrovertible fact seems to be lost on some psychologists, it seems.

Research has shown that the “marriage benefits”—the increases in health, wealth, and happiness that are often associated with the status—go disproportionately to men. Married men are better off than single men. Married women, on the other hand, are not better off than unmarried women.

Correlation, it is written, is not causation. Could it be that women are attracted to — and tend to marry — men who are healthy, wealthy and happy?

Second, in contrast to the myth that marriage is a woman’s ultimate and sacred fulfillment is the reality that roughly two-thirds of divorces are initiated by women… A recent AARP survey of 1147 men and women ages 40-79 who experienced a divorce in their 40s, 50s, or 60s, found that 66% of women said they initiated the split.

It is also true that the longer a couple have been married, the more ruination a departing wife can visit upon her husband. It is often pre-planned; in many cases the poor sap had no idea until she had him served with divorce papers.

The results revealed an intriguing pattern: As expected, women initiated roughly two thirds (69%) of the breakups in heterosexual marriages. However, the gendered trend in relationship breakups held only for marriages and not for other non-marital unions.

I have a theory on this. Women don’t generally dump men for nobody. Outside of marriage, they tend to delay dumping their boyfriends until they have another one primed and ready to go. But with marriage, there are cash-and-prizes that come with a divorce. In some cases, the husband ends up with all of the financial obligations of marriage with none of the benefits that go with it. The Government effectively becomes her new husband.

Moreover, women in marriages, but not in other relationships, reported lower levels of satisfaction.

This is bunk. Study after study has shown that married women report the highest level of happiness. If you don’t believe them, reality is only a glance away. Think of the most depressed, miserable and bitter women you know. Who are they? Feminists. Just kidding! They are usually unmarried, childless, over thirty, and without hope of having the life they desperately crave.

According to Rosenfeld, these data suggest that the tendency for women to initiate breakups is not an inherent feature of male-female relationships. Rather, it is a feature of male-female marriage.

Rubbish. It is a feature of profitability; you can’t divorce-rape a boyfriend. The real acid test for this theory would be to look at the separation rates for couples in a state of Common-Law marriage, where they are not actually married, but the State treats them as if they were. If my theory is correct, common-law wives will dump their husbands for cash-and-prizes with the same alacrity that married women do.

This finding appears to provide support for the notion that women experience the institution of marriage as oppressive, in large part because it emerged from and still carries the imprint of a system of female subjugation.

What mealy-mouthed, self-serving Psychobabble. The popularity of “Fifty Shades of grey” shows clearly that women love the ideas of submission and subjugation… as long as he has a six-pack, a helicopter, a yacht, and conspicuous good looks. Hypergamy (the female tendency for women to date/mate/marry “up”) means that women are inherently much harder to satisfy than are men.

At the end of the day, the accumulating data paint a picture of marriage as complex commerce in which women may often play a paradoxical role: They work harder for a smaller share of the benefits, which may explain why, while they may often be more eager to get into a marriage, they are often also more eager to get out.

Women get plenty of benefits from marriage, but they get those benefits later in life, when his earnings are are their highest, her looks are gone, and no other man is interested. In a word, it is security. But if she can get the same security in Divorce Court, it will be easier for her to bust out of the marriage in a manner not unlike that infamous scene in Alien.

Here in the enlightened West, women are also never satisfied: how many wives have you heard complain that their husbands do too much around the house? None! This tells us men that women’s expectations are fundamentally unreasonable.

Conclusion: Data on Marriage and Divorce is like data on Climate Change – highly subject to interpretation. This piece seems to be written from a standpoint of “marriage is a bad idea because subjugation, and women shouldn’t do it”. If that is your honest opinion, don’t get married, for your sanity, and the well-being of the poor sap you are going to divorce. For those who do want marriage, I have one simple word of advice:

Appreciate what you have. Or someone else will.

Says Who?

Ran across this piece recently: The United States of Sex: A Survey of 17,000 Women.

Takeaway: 79%of a sample of 17000 women, most aged 18-45, considered themselves sexy some or all of the time.

Are you nuts?

In a nation where 3 out of 4 women are overweight or obese, four out of five think that they are sexy? Ladies, what are you smoking?

Here’s one for the guys. Next time you are in a public place, look around. Count the women. Now estimate the percentage of them who you would describe as “Sexy”. I guarantee it won’t be 4 in 5. Probably more like 1 in 10. Almost all of them will be under 30. And none of them will be obese.

In related news: The average man thinks the average woman is average, but the average woman thinks the average man is ugly. So who is truly capable of being objective?

Moral: Self-praise is no recommendation.