Category Archives: Opinion

Skeptical

Why I am a Climate Change Skeptic

When I went to college, it was to study Biochemistry and Environmental Sciences. Back in those days, it was understood that we were, geologically speaking, due for an Ice Age “any day now”.

Within ten years, this changed: Over time, “Global Cooling” became “Global Warming”.

More time passed. It soon became apparent that the planet was neither warming nor cooling; some parts of the globe were getting cooler, other parts were getting warmer. So the Scientific Community, presumably in a bid to not sound like idiots, coined the term “Climate Change”, which has the advantage of meaning … whatever you want it to mean (see also “Hope and Change”).

Before we go any further, it must be said that I accept that there is such a thing as Climate Change. Planet Earth is not a static system. As we speak, the force of the Indian Subcontinent driving into the underbelly of Asia is driving the Himalayan mountains ever higher. And the world’s largest island, Australia, is charging around the globe looking for some unsuspecting continent onto which it can disgorge its cargo of Kangaroos, Koala Bears, Duck-Billed Platypuses… and some of the most dangerous and venomous insects in the world. So some places are getting warmer, some are getting cooler.

What I remain unconvinced about is Anthropogenic Climate Change (ACC), the idea that humans are single-handedly ruining the planet. I “deny” nothing, but I am skeptical, for a great many reasons. So if you call me a “Climate change denier“, I will call you a “Climate Change Alarmist“. I prefer the terms “Climate Change Believer” and “Climate Change Skeptic/Agnostic“. I appreciate that others will not like these terms, with their religious overtones, but the “Consensus” claims of the Alarmists, along with their eschatological panic, make them look a lot like religious zealots.

So yes, climate change is a thing. No sensible person will dispute that. The salient questions are:

  • Are we causing it?
  • How did we cause it?
  • How can we fix it?

Are we causing Climate Change?

Here are some thoughts on the subject:

  • Two thousand years ago, the Romans grew grapes in London. That no longer happens.
  • Between the 14th and the 19th centuries, Europe experienced a “Little Ice Age”. The river Thames froze over many times. That no longer happens either, and has not happened at all in the last two hundred years.
  • So England was cooling, and warming, for centuries, long before industrialization came along.
  • My utility bill tells me the average temperature during the past month, along with the average temperature for the same month last year. In the vast majority of cases, this year has been colder than last year.

Climate Change Alarmists are convinced that unless we change our ways quickly, bad things will happen. However, they cannot agree on what that change will be. We cannot trust the weatherman to tell us what the weather will be a week from now, but they expect us to believe that they know what the climate will be a thousand years from now.

How did we cause it?

The accepted answer from the Climate Change community is “Greenhouse Gases” There are two major greenhouse gases: CO2 and Methane.

CO2 is emitted by emission from burning fossil fuels and also by plants in sunlight. Fossil fuels, however, are not born equal; they range from clean-burning (in terms of CO2 emissions) Natural Gas, to the relatively “dirty” Coal (in the past thirty years, the percentage of power generated from coal has dropped from 57% to 37% in the U.S.).

Methane is a far worse “greenhouse gas” by a factor of about 30 (https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2014/03/140327111724.htm) is found mostly generated mostly by natural seepage. Our main contribution is cow flatulence.

Can we fix it?

If ACC is true, There is only one way that works, and that is de-industrialization on a massive scale; no more motor cars, no more power plants, no more civilization; we and go back to living in tents and caves, dying young, and reducing ourselves to a third-world lifestyle. Women will die in childbirth, men will die in battle. Life will return to its natural l state: “Nasty, brutish, and short”. Well sign me up!
Assuming that this is not an option, what else is to be done?

  1. Build Nuclear Power Stations. They don’t emit greenhouse gases. Wind-generated power won’t be enough, and Geothermal power, while a viable future option, isn’t there yet.
  2. Give up eating beef.
  3. Buying a hybrid or electric car won’t help. All this does is move the pollution from the vehicle’s exhaust pipe to a power-plant. See #1
  4. International agreements like the Paris Climate Accords are a farce; China and India refused to sign up, and they are among the world’s biggest polluters. Yet when Donald Trump abandoned the accords, he was savaged by the press. I applaud him. No President should embark on a course of action that puts American businesses at a disadvantage.

Some will say things like “95% of scientists agree that ACC is real. That claim may be true, but should be taken with a grain of salt. What they fail to mention is that 100% of government research funding goes to defining and finding a solution to “The problem of Climate Change”. There is no money to be made in pointing out that the emperor has no clothes. It is impossible to make someone believe something if their paycheck depends on them not believing it.

Climate Change Alarmists’ predictions are inconsistent, and often hysterical.

  • In 2007, Al Gore predicted that the Arctic Polar Ice cap could be gone by 2014 . This has not happened, Not even close.
  • Back in the 1970s, and 1980s, there was much talk about the “Hole in the Ozone Layer”, ostensibly caused by CholoFluoroCarbons — or CFCs for short. As a result, CFCs were banned throughout the industrialized world, though it is still in use elsewhere. Within a decade, the hysteria subsided, and there is currently no evidence that there ever was a hole in the Ozone layer. No explanation or apology has ever been given by those who were spreading all of this panic, except for the “It-is-healing-really-really-fast” theory, which is not science. But we are supposed to trust them this time. This reminds me of the end-times claims given by many religious folks.

Conclusions:

I have yet to be convinced that Anthropogenic Climate Change is real.

For obvious reasons, cutting pollution is a good idea, as long as it does not interfere with progress or economic growth.

The Evidence Is Not Conclusive. Climate change “consensus” is not science.

  • Thirty years ago, eggs were good for you.
  • Twenty years ago, eggs were bad for you.
  • Ten years ago, egg yolks were bad for you, while egg whites were good for you.
  • In these enlightened days, eggs are good for you… again.

So much for “Scientific Consensus”

Next time you hear someone saying “We believe that climate change…” or “I believe in science“, remind them that science is not something that you believe in, it is something that you do. When you “believe” in science, something that many prominent atheists claim, you are actually making science your religion.

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Wooly Thinking

I came across this story in Psychology today. The story is a few years old, but I am amazed at how deliberately misinformed, if not disingenuous, someone can be.

Is Marriage Worth the Trouble For Women? The benefits go mostly to men.

Let’s start at the very beginning:

A casual look at how marriage is represented in popular culture may lead one to conclude that ending up at the altar is the ultimate female desire.

It is. Men don’t fantasize about getting married. Women have been known to.

Wedding magazines are aimed almost exclusively at brides, not grooms.

They are. Women spend far more on magazines than do men. And nobody ever went broke telling women what they desperately wanted to hear.

Reality TV shows highlight Bridezillas, not Groomzillas, and The Bachelor, in which multiple women vie for a ring, is a ratings juggernaut.

They are. Men don’t watch reality TV. Look at the adverts; who are they aimed at?

The central attraction in the pageant of the average wedding is reserved for the bride’s dress, while the groom’s attire receives little billing.

Working as designed. Women will spend big money on fashion. Man is the only animal species where the female wears the plumage.

Pop culture queen Beyoncé herself has famously admonished men that if they like it, then they should put a ring on it.

And most girls look like Beyoncé… NOT! If did, I’m sure that you would have no shortage of suitors. This is a classic Apex Fallacy.

Proverbs 31 says “An excellent wife, who can find? Her value is greater than rubies”. Translation: Most women ain’t wife material.If he ain’t “putting a ring on it” it’s probably because you are unworthy.

Men, on the other hand, are often depicted as commitment phobic, having to be conned or whipped into marriage, or dragged to the altar against their deeply promiscuous nature, which abhors long-term monogamy.

Close but no cigar. Decades ago, women were far more chaste and feminine than they are now. They had the requisite skills that made them good wives. I would posit that feminism has caused women to behave like men, and men have rationally started behaving like boys. As women invaded colleges and the workplace en masse, taking up more and more traditional male spaces and, men have become increasingly sidelined, less educated, less affluent, less able to support a family. Women have also put off marriage into their late twenties and early thirties, denying marriage-minded men of the youth, beauty and fertility that they crave and would pay the ultimate price for.

Both women and men have inherently become both less marriage-minded, and less marriageable. But since the men are the deciders of commitment, when they balk, women, ever reluctant to admit their faults, are quick to portray them as marriage-averse. But I have seen too many women who want to be a bride, but not a wife. It’s not that we don’t want to marry; it’s that we don’t want to marry you.

The notion of a “midlife crisis,” during which men are bound to jettison their old wives for a new, younger trophy model is also a familiar cultural trope.

…while the notion of wives who get fat and bitchy, deny their husbands sex (it is estimated that 80% of ten-year-plus marriages are essentially sexless) while holding the specter of divorce-induced financial ruination over his head, remains safely ignored.

Oh, and the “trope” is generally untrue; very few men “trade in” for the very good reason that most men can’t afford it. Another Apex Fallacy, methinks. Seriously. How many of the divorces you know of follow this pattern?

Marriage, we have been led to believe, is a natural habitat for women, but a stifling cage for men. Thus goes the popular fantasy. However, in the real world of data, things shake out quite a bit differently.

We’ll see about that

First, confounding the view of marriage as the female heaven and haven is the fact that marriage actually appears to benefit men more than it does women.

Yes, marriage is good for men. And Divorce is an absolute bloody disaster. And the Divorce rate is 50%. If a man is going into a deal where there is a fifty-fifty chance of having his head taken off, there had better be some serious benefits for him. This obvious and incontrovertible fact seems to be lost on some psychologists, it seems.

Research has shown that the “marriage benefits”—the increases in health, wealth, and happiness that are often associated with the status—go disproportionately to men. Married men are better off than single men. Married women, on the other hand, are not better off than unmarried women.

Correlation, it is written, is not causation. Could it be that women are attracted to — and tend to marry — men who are healthy, wealthy and happy?

Second, in contrast to the myth that marriage is a woman’s ultimate and sacred fulfillment is the reality that roughly two-thirds of divorces are initiated by women… A recent AARP survey of 1147 men and women ages 40-79 who experienced a divorce in their 40s, 50s, or 60s, found that 66% of women said they initiated the split.

It is also true that the longer a couple have been married, the more ruination a departing wife can visit upon her husband. It is often pre-planned; in many cases the poor sap had no idea until she had him served with divorce papers.

The results revealed an intriguing pattern: As expected, women initiated roughly two thirds (69%) of the breakups in heterosexual marriages. However, the gendered trend in relationship breakups held only for marriages and not for other non-marital unions.

I have a theory on this. Women don’t generally dump men for nobody. Outside of marriage, they tend to delay dumping their boyfriends until they have another one primed and ready to go. But with marriage, there are cash-and-prizes that come with a divorce. In some cases, the husband ends up with all of the financial obligations of marriage with none of the benefits that go with it. The Government effectively becomes her new husband.

Moreover, women in marriages, but not in other relationships, reported lower levels of satisfaction.

This is bunk. Study after study has shown that married women report the highest level of happiness. If you don’t believe them, reality is only a glance away. Think of the most depressed, miserable and bitter women you know. Who are they? Feminists. Just kidding! They are usually unmarried, childless, over thirty, and without hope of having the life they desperately crave.

According to Rosenfeld, these data suggest that the tendency for women to initiate breakups is not an inherent feature of male-female relationships. Rather, it is a feature of male-female marriage.

Rubbish. It is a feature of profitability; you can’t divorce-rape a boyfriend. The real acid test for this theory would be to look at the separation rates for couples in a state of Common-Law marriage, where they are not actually married, but the State treats them as if they were. If my theory is correct, common-law wives will dump their husbands for cash-and-prizes with the same alacrity that married women do.

This finding appears to provide support for the notion that women experience the institution of marriage as oppressive, in large part because it emerged from and still carries the imprint of a system of female subjugation.

What mealy-mouthed, self-serving Psychobabble. The popularity of “Fifty Shades of grey” shows clearly that women love the ideas of submission and subjugation… as long as he has a six-pack, a helicopter, a yacht, and conspicuous good looks. Hypergamy (the female tendency for women to date/mate/marry “up”) means that women are inherently much harder to satisfy than are men.

At the end of the day, the accumulating data paint a picture of marriage as complex commerce in which women may often play a paradoxical role: They work harder for a smaller share of the benefits, which may explain why, while they may often be more eager to get into a marriage, they are often also more eager to get out.

Women get plenty of benefits from marriage, but they get those benefits later in life, when his earnings are are their highest, her looks are gone, and no other man is interested. In a word, it is security. But if she can get the same security in Divorce Court, it will be easier for her to bust out of the marriage in a manner not unlike that infamous scene in Alien.

Here in the enlightened West, women are also never satisfied: how many wives have you heard complain that their husbands do too much around the house? None! This tells us men that women’s expectations are fundamentally unreasonable.

Conclusion: Data on Marriage and Divorce is like data on Climate Change – highly subject to interpretation. This piece seems to be written from a standpoint of “marriage is a bad idea because subjugation, and women shouldn’t do it”. If that is your honest opinion, don’t get married, for your sanity, and the well-being of the poor sap you are going to divorce. For those who do want marriage, I have one simple word of advice:

Appreciate what you have. Or someone else will.

Says Who?

Ran across this piece recently: The United States of Sex: A Survey of 17,000 Women.

Takeaway: 79%of a sample of 17000 women, most aged 18-45, considered themselves sexy some or all of the time.

Are you nuts?

In a nation where 3 out of 4 women are overweight or obese, four out of five think that they are sexy? Ladies, what are you smoking?

Here’s one for the guys. Next time you are in a public place, look around. Count the women. Now estimate the percentage of them who you would describe as “Sexy”. I guarantee it won’t be 4 in 5. Probably more like 1 in 10. Almost all of them will be under 30. And none of them will be obese.

In related news: The average man thinks the average woman is average, but the average woman thinks the average man is ugly. So who is truly capable of being objective?

Moral: Self-praise is no recommendation.

Where have all the Good Men gone?

I haven’t put pen to paper — or fingers to keyboard — in many a moon. This was not, as one might expect, due to writer’s block. Quite the opposite. I have too many ideas, many of which were too raw or edgy or unfit for publication.

In recent years, there has been much talk about “The Marriage Strike”, an oft-repeated over-dramatization about the dearth of men who are ready, willing and able to marry. Naturally, the Lamestream Media blames the whole thing on men who are two cowardly to “man up” and “do their duty”. Young women complain that the men their age are not very masculine, and are more interested in Video Games than marriage. They have a point, but they are confusing the symptoms with the cause.

Fifty years ago, a man in his twenties with good prospects could easily find a young (late teens or early twenties), traditional wife who would bear and raise his children and take care of his house while he went out and bought home the proverbial bacon.

Nowadays, women are in the colleges and the workplace in greater numbers than men. They have their careers their autonomy and their lives. Those who are married often continue to work, even after the children are born.

Couples are marrying later; whether this is because men cannot make enough to support a wife and family in their twenties, or because women are delaying marriage because they want to play the field, I cannot say, though I think that it is a combination of both. However, I would point out that feminine beauty has a sell-by date, and the longer a woman waits, the less likely a man will want to pay full price for what’s left. And no less than Forbes Magazine seems to think that a career woman is a poor bet as a wife.

But that is another story for another time.

So why is it that the average man could support a family fifty years ago, but cannot do so now? Part of it is the changing global landscape, to be sure, but I have a theory. One of the reasons that wages are low is because supply outstrips demand. When more people are out looking for work, employers get picky and offer lower wages. So when you double the number of people seeking work, (as happens when women enter the workplace en masse), wages will inevitably go down. And assuming that women seek safe, stable, comfortable jobs (almost all of the Dirty, Difficult and Dangerous™ jobs are still done by men) and generally do not start businesses (too risky!), the entry of women into the workplace does not substantially change demand for employees. So wages go down.

There. I said it. Women in the workplace drives down wages. This is going to make people mad, so let me be clear. I am not against any woman entering the workforce. That is not the point of this post. But when all women are entering the workforce, someone’s gonna get displaced; any idea of who that might be? That’s right, men. And when men can’t find high-status, well-paid work, what is the consequence of that? They cannot support wives and families; all they can do is work a menial job and… play video games.

Agree? Disagree? Comments are welcome.

 

Real Twaddle

Once in a while you see a video that is so full of crap that you cannot remain silent

 

This whole “Real Man™” thing is quite laughable, and is a creation of women.

Women dream of “finding that special someone” – and there is nothing wrong with that… but all too often they have a list of non-negotiable qualities (must be tall, handsome, confident, brave, bold, charming, adventurous, generous, honorable..), that said list only increases in length as they get older and their charms (and options) fade.

If that wasn’t bad enough, women are actively putting off marriage, effectively sacrificing it on the altar of career. Too many times they hit the big three-oh and — shock horror — find that not only can they not get the men that they want, but the ones they rejected in the past for the most trivial of reasons (“he’s too short” “his eyes are too close together”) are now off the market, or looking past them to younger, hotter, tighter models. What follows looks a lot like the five stage of grief: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Acceptance… and Cats. Don’t be that girl.

At the same time, the kind of men that they are looking for (fit, healthy and affluent) are starting to realize their value. What then follows is a game of musical chairs throughout their thirties and forties. By fifty, it is a bloodbath with dozens of women chasing each “eligible” man… only to find that he is chasing girls ten or even fifteen years younger.

So how does a girl marry once and for life? Here is my advice, based in observation and personal experience:

  1. Marry Young: These days, women are putting off marriage into their thirties, a point at which their most fertile and attractive years are behind them. And they are shocked to find that the men that they want don’t want them. Bottom line: Give us the best years of your life (your twenties, and anyone who is trying to tell you otherwise is either competition or is trying to sell you something), and we will give you the rest of ours.
  2. Be Chaste: Statistically speaking, a virgin bride has a 96% chance of reaching her tenth wedding anniversary. Add one pre-marriage sex partner and that probability drops to 76% (comparison: for a man to experience the same twenty-point drop, he has to have seventeen partners). Add nine more notches to her gun-belt and the probability of a ten-year marriage drops to 15%. Mathematics doesn’t care whether you like it or not.
  3. Grow your hair long: “You look so much nicer with your hair cut short”, said no man, ever. Yes, it is hard work, and yes, it is convenient — but then, so is growing old alone. Your move.
  4. Dress to impress…: Walk around the typical supermarket and you will see them out in force: young women wearing ugly shoes (crocs/uggs/flipflops), sweats, and that disgusting pineapple hairstyle that is the hallmark of the lazy woman. The good news is that with such low standards everywhere, it is easy to stand out: Proper shoes (with a heel) and a nice flowing dress. And for heaven’s sake, do something with your hair.
  5. …but don’t overdo it: Too many women confuse “sexy” and “beautiful”. If you dress like a stripper, don’t get annoyed when we treat you like one. A Real Man™ wants you to be his personal slut, so save the lingerie, booty shorts, tank tops and thongs for his eyes only.
  6. Don’t be fat: This is huge, if you’ll pardon the pun. Too many (about two-thirds) are overweight. Excess poundage in women kills attraction in men in the same way that shortness in men does for women.
  7. Be nice: Too many women confuse “strength” with being bold, brash, brassy, bossy or bitchy. Being able to belch, fart and cuss like a man may seem to work for a while, but it will drive the “Real Men™” away; to them, “Strong and Independent” looks a lot like “Annoying and Irritating”. Instead, concentrate on feminine strength. Kindness, respect, vulnerability… men are drawn to these. “If you want to attract a gentleman, behave like a lady“.
  8. Be Honest: Too many women try to become what the man wants. If you have to pretend to be the woman he wants to marry, the marriage will not work.
  9. Be Humble: Entitlement is another attraction killer. If you want a man who will lead you, be prepared to follow. If you want a man who is willing to die for you, be prepared to live for him.

A “Real Man™” won’t settle for leftovers. We want you at your best, and won’t settle for anything less. We want to be your first love, not your last resort.

Illusion, Delusion, and Disillusion

Or: “Ewwwww…”

Once in a while, you see a story in the news that makes you shake your head sadly and wonder what the writer was thinking — or smoking — when she wrote it. This is one such story.

Where have all the good men gone? These sassy, sophisticated, solvent women say they are struggling to find other halves that can measure up

The Daily Mail is no longer accepting commentary, I have decided to reprint the story in its entirety and add my commentary in-line. I wouldn’t normally do anything that extreme, but this article contains so many untruths, half-truths, and outright delusions that I felt it was necessary. As best I understand it, copying for the purpose of discussion and comment is legal, and is therefore not a copyright violation.

The title alone sets the tone. “measure up“? To whose standards? But on to the bye-lines:

  • Five single women share why they’ve struggled to find men worth dating

Correction: Five middle-aged single women share why they’ve struggled to find men they believe to be worth dating. There. Fixed that for you.

  • They ask if it is possible to find independent, attractive mid-life daters

Possible? Certainly. Probable? No. “Independent, attractive” men are rare beasts, and they are in astronomically high demand.

  • One dating coach says there are seven women for every man aged 40-55

Correction: seven desperate single women for every eligible man aged 40-55.

So much for the bylines, now on to the purple prose…

At 48, Jane Townsend is beautiful, independent — and single. She keeps fit, takes great care of her appearance and is looking for a man who is active, in good shape, articulate and emotionally open.

Given her good looks and vivacious nature, eligible suitors must surely be beating a path to her door.

“Good looks?” “Vivacious nature?” Let us gaze upon the wonderfulness of this pulchritudinous creature…

Jane Townsend, 48, was told by one relationship coach that women her age should go for men 15 years older, making her current dating goal a man aged 63 

Do you want to you have sex with this woman? Me neither.

Yet as Jane, from Sheffield, explains, it has been a struggle: ‘The men out there are delusional…

It’s Jane who is delusional. She is looking for a handsome, fit, charming man in his fifties – the mythical “Silver Fox”. trouble is, every woman her age is dreaming of bagging one of those, and there are plenty of younger ones who would love to bag him as well. As a result, any man over 50 who has a little money in his pockets and is in good physical shape can *easily* find a wife ten years younger, and probably fifteen — and if he is just interested in casual, commitment-free dating he can go all the way down to the early twenties. There are several websites out there for that. Looks to me like the poor dear has a bad case of DPS (Disney Princess Syndrome).

…I went out with a guy who lied about his age, saying he was 47 when he was 50…

Women lie about their ages all the time. But let a man do it and it’s suddenly a heinous crime. And why does that three years make such a difference? It’s not like he said he was thirty…

…who then had the gall to tell me he wanted a younger woman so he, as he put it, “could breed”.

What gall! How dare he! To be fair, that was a little crass, but at least he was up-front and direct about his requirements instead of lying, leading her on, or telling her what she wanted to hear…

‘After my divorce, I gave up my prime dating years to raise my two girls, expecting that when they left home, I’d have time left…

You made a choice; a noble, rational one. But choices have consequences. Didn’t anyone tell you that a woman’s attractiveness has a short shelf life? When they did, were you even listening?

…But there has been a shift and now the men aren’t there. Where I live it’s hard to find someone cultured unless they’re eating yoghurt, and the men my age all seem to be — well — more than a little overweight.’

Fair point; let’s take a look at the current crop of fifty-something men out there:

  • Some are happily married and off the market (they don’t want you).
  • Some are unhappily married and looking for a side piece (you don’t want them).
  • Some are divorced and ruined (you won’t want them).
  • Some are dating younger women (They won’t want you)
  • Some are doing the Sugar Daddy thing (they definitely won’t want you).
  • Some have given up entirely (you definitely won’t want them).
  • Widowers (and widows) are the best bet for marriage.. but they are in short supply and are snapped up very quickly.
  • Divorcees are a crap-shoot; nuggets of gold amid a whole lot of dross (good luck with that).

A divorced woman looking for a wealthy, in-shape, marriage-minded man in his fifties is like an overweight thirty-something-year-old plumber seriously expecting to hook up with a blonde, large-breasted cheerleader. Good luck with that.

Having been matchmaking single men and women for Femail’s Blind Date column for the past six months, I’d like to say Jane’s experiences are the exception…

If that is the exception, what is the rule?

…but what has struck me is just how many attractive women apply who seem to have so much going for them. They are in great physical shape, living full and interesting lives. Yet finding suitable men for them to date seems to be a heroic challenge.

“Attractive… so much going for them…” According to whom? Other women? It is written: “Ancient Egyptians worshiped cats. Cats have never forgotten this.” In the same way, women who have enjoyed incredible power in the dating market in their twenties are often the last to know when it that power is gone, never to return. The real problem is when they still think that they have the same sultry allure that drove men wild at ninteen, and have calibrated their expectations accordingly. Women in their fifties are at a considerable disadvantage.

This has left me wondering why a generation of single, sexy, solvent women just can’t find love.

Again with the gushy praise; enough already! To put it succinctly: men are attracted to youth and fertility. Always have been, always will be. Conversely, women are attracted to status and strength (physical/mental/emotional/financial). Always have been, always will be.

What immediately strikes female mid-life daters — of whom I am one — returning to the dating scene in later life after a marriage or long-term relationship, is the lack of single men.

What you actually mean is “The lack of single, handsome, healthy, wealthy, charming marriage-minded men”. Granny was right; young women have the pick of the men, older gals have to battle over the leavings. You should have listened to her.

According to Jo Hemmings, a behavioural psychologist and dating coach, there are an estimated seven new women for every man on the dating scene in the 40-55 age group, so availability is clearly a big issue.

This statistic seems sketchy. If each break-up puts one man and one woman back on the dating market, the numbers should be roughly equal. I suspect that we are seeing the Pareto principle in action: 80% of women are chasing the top 20% of men and ignoring the rest. When 80% of the women are chasing 20% of the men, the result can hardly fail to be anything else but a bloodbath.

‘I’ve had clients coming to me wondering: “Am I asking too much to find an attractive, independent, solvent guy of my age?” ’ she says.

Short answer: Yes. Longer answer: “You should have thought of that when you were 24”

As she explains, part of the issue is that when divorce strikes, men and women react in different ways.

Men’s relationships frequently overlap; they won’t leave one partner until they find another, so they are never really single.

ABSOLUTE RUBBISH. Three-quarters of divorces are initiated by the woman. In most cases, the man has no clue until she serves him with papers, leaves with the kids, or worse, has him thrown out of their house. (See #9 here). And in almost every case, she had everything planned in advance and had a “spare” lined up. This is borne out by reality as well as anecdote. Observe how many women “break up with (i.e., leave) their husbands and just happen to find a wonderful boyfriend “a few weeks later”.

…By contrast, women take longer to recover from a break-up. They often step out of the dating ring completely, sometimes for many years, to rebuild their lives or to focus on bringing up children.

Wrong again. Men commit suicide at nearly 5x the rate of women – up from 2x in 1982. And a leading cause of suicide among men over 40 is divorce. But women are always the victims, because women say they are — and data be damned.

‘When they return to dating, it’s really hard for them,’ says Jo. ‘There aren’t as many men because they have a wider pool. Men realise quite quickly that there are far fewer of them than there are women of a similar age. They then date much younger women, creating a huge void in the market.

Young pretty women run the game through their twenties. Because They Can. But after 30, men start to realize their value, the balance of power starts to shift.  After 40, men have all the power, so they can afford to be picky. And if they find themselves healthy, wealthy and single in their fifties, they will date the youngest, hottest girl they can find. Because They Can.

‘Traditionally women go for men who are their age or slightly older, so they are left wondering where all the men have gone.’

Not entirely true. Women prefer older men when they are young. But older women prefer younger men. When 48-year-old Jane found out that her 47-year-old date was actually 50, she was disappointed. Why is that?

When Jo coaches women on dating, she tells them to accept the reality. ‘It’s just a fact that there is a lack of available decent men,’ she says.

Definition of “Decent”, please? I’m guessing it looks a lot like: “Attractive, slender, tall, healthy, wealthy… stupid enough to think that he can’t do better than me.”

‘It’s tough when you’re looking for love. You have to realise that it’s not about you, it’s just a numbers game.’

It was always a numbers game. It was a numbers game when you were 18 and irresistible. What changed is that now, the numbers are not in your favor. And they never will be again.

But the numbers don’t tell the whole story. Men, indoctrinated over generations to pursue younger women, are instinctively reluctant to consider those of a similar age to their own, even ones who look youthful and attractive.

What utter crap. In every society that has ever existed, throughout all of known history, men have prized youth and fertility in women, while women have prized strength and wealth in men. It’s not “indoctrination”, it’s biology, you stupid cow. I think I just found the source of the problem.

It is something I regularly notice when I set up dates.

Men need to open their eyes to the amazing women in their own age bracket.

Amazing? Where? And why should they, if they can do better?

With the statistics against them, women are motivated to want to look after themselves and make the best of what they have…

What other choice do they have?

..while there is no incentive for the men to do the same.

There is plenty of incentive… to pursue younger, more attractive women. As a general rule, the amount of effort a man is willing to expend in the pursuit a woman is based on his perceived value of her. And younger women are perceived as being more valuable. That’s not “indoctrination”, it’s biology. But by the time most men reach their fifties, their libido is no longer in the driving seat, and many have come to the conclusion that the juice is no longer worth the squeeze. So they get fat and unfit because they just… don’t…. care.

Jo says: ‘This generation of men don’t bother to make the effort to represent themselves in an attractive way, even online. Or they just list what they don’t want in a woman and say nothing about themselves — because they can.’

Because. They. Can.

And those men who do make an effort are in a position to be very choosy.

BINGO! Just like the girls were back in their twenties.

Online dating coach Suzie Parkus, of meetyourmatch.club, observes: ‘A man who has aged well, has a good outlook on life, a joie de vivre about him and who has seemingly done well for himself is very attractive to his peers. However, for the most part he is drawn to younger, sexier, more vibrant models.

BINGO! And such a man has literally hundreds of women pursuing him.

‘It has a lot to do with his self-perception in terms of being able to choose who and what he wants in a partner because he has the right to, given that he is in high demand.’

BINGO!

While good-looking men can pick and choose, attractive women such as Jane effectively become the victims of their drive to remain active and youthful.

“Youthful”? Compared to what?

Women in the over-45 bracket are the biggest buyers of beauty products, accounting for 58 per cent of the market. Last year, the 45 to 54 age group spent an average of £2,238 a year on beauty products, up 4.1 per cent on previous years.

Women in that age group should be playing with their grandchildren and not spending thousands of pounds a year on makeup and lingerie. But that’s just my opinion…

Jane says: ‘Women see the writing on the wall and take a grip on their health and beauty, staying active, keeping abreast of current affairs, studying, keeping beautiful.

Yes, I‘ve already seen your definition of “Beautiful”… and I’m not impressed.

‘I go to gym classes (made up mostly of women), whereas men my age just think they don’t have to make the effort because there are always dozens of younger women who will go out with them.’

BINGO!

A woman who looks great, feels good about herself and is solvent and independent-minded won’t be drawn to a man who has let himself go, or who may be interested in her but is far too old. So these magnificent midlife daters fall into a void.

There is no “void”, they’re just too damn picky. Your self-image is irrelevant. Your wealth is irrelevant. Your independence is irrelevant. Your magnificence is irrelevant. Resistance is futile. Prepare to be assimilated…

And it’s not just about looks — there is a difference in mindset between the sexes too.

As Jane will attest, middle-aged and 50-plus men tend to be set in their ways, less adventurous and less youthful in outlook. They want someone to look after them, while their female counterparts are looking for someone to explore the world and have fun with.

And all middle-aged women are sexy, svelte and stylish. Classic Apex Fallacy thinking. Let’s cut the crap, shall we?

By age 50, most men have either achieved their dreams or given up trying. Too many of them have had the moxie beaten out of them by the world, the culture or a rapacious spouse who spent money faster than they can earn it. More often than not, they have been mauled by a divorce and don’t want to go through that again. They want a quiet, predictable, happy life in a tranquil home with a pleasant, caring, respectful, attractive and sexually adventurous partner. This is a bad time for either side to try to re-live their twenties. I wonder why these “beautiful”, “amazing” “magnificent” women think they can… Perhaps it is because friends, family and poor-quality journalists keep inflating their egos by telling them how wonderful they are and how “any man would be lucky to have you”.

Jane was told by one relationship coach that women her age should go for men 15 years older, making her current dating goal a man aged 63. This is even less appealing, as it is effectively a different generation — and one with very different aspirations. ‘I’ve cared for children and my parents, and I don’t want to care for a man again,’ says Jane, summing up the attitude of many in her situation.

‘Older men are so set in their ways, you almost feel more like a carer than a girlfriend.’

Then feel free to grow old alone. Nobody is listening.

Lucy Verner, 46, is another frustrated midlife dater who has been single since splitting from her husband seven years ago.

‘I found internet dating absolutely awful,’ she says. ‘I live in East Kent and it’s such a small pool. There are exceptions, but on the whole I found the men who made contact were older — and certainly looked older — than me.

So move!

‘Men of my age target younger women and I don’t fancy the older men, so it’s a real problem. I’ve stopped looking. Having to get back in the dating market, I focused on getting myself fit again. But many men don’t seem to make the same effort.

Translation: “WAAAH! The top men don’t want me and I’m FAR too good for the average ones”

‘Online you see selfie pictures they have taken of themselves half-naked in bathrooms or slouching on sofas. Where is the effort in that?

‘Very few men are happy to be by themselves, too. They lurch from one relationship to another, whereas middle-aged women are a lot stronger and more self-assured than they were in the last generation.

If you’re so strong and self-assured… why do you need a man?

‘I have two children and a career to manage and I’m forthright. I think men find women like me intimidating.

No, we find you annoying and irritating. If you’ve got it all going on, you don’t need us.

‘I want a strong, independent man. Why is that so hard?’

Because every other past-her-prime divorcee your age is chasing the same few men. And we all want to know the same thing: How/why did your marriage end?

Julia Van Der Wens is 54. She was just 19 years old when she got married, and was with her husband for more than 30 years before he left her 18 months ago.

Why did he leave her? Bring him on and let him tell his side of the story…

‘I was devastated, of course, but I made the decision to keep on living my life. I lost weight, started getting into sport and now I look and feel the best I’ve ever been.

Oh… so you got fat while you were married, and didn’t look your best for him? That might explain it.

‘The problem isn’t the men not liking me, but me not fancying them.

And there it is: the dictionary definition of “Entitlement”.

I want someone athletic, not pot-bellied. Most of the men I meet seem really unfit.

An athletic, single wealthy man in his fifties is probably dating college-age girls. And you are starting to sound like an entitled, nagging shrew.

‘I tried dating websites but two of the men I met were at least ten years older than their photo. Sometimes I think I’m never going to meet anyone.’

And women have never done anything as shallow as that! How many hours did you spend in makeover-land for the photo-shoot for this story?

Lesley Roberts, 52, was married in her 20s and divorced in her 30s. She did meet someone new, but they split up after a couple of years and she has now been single for two years.

“Split up”? If he left her, she would say so, because woman=victim. I’m going to assume that she left him. So she has a track record for breaking a sacred vow. Good to know.

‘Men my age are all up for a pipe and slippers life, and I’m not,’ she says. ‘When I got married my husband was six years older than me, but I wouldn’t take that age gap now because men aged 52 to 60 are boring. They just don’t have any oomph in them.

Nothing like a divorce to take the “oomph” out of a man. And you should know. Sounds like he dodged a bullet when you left him.

‘Once they get past 48 they seem to turn into Victor Meldrew, yet women are making an effort and looking great.

In whose opinion? Yours? Other women’s? Self-praise is no recommendation.

I just decided that I wasn’t going to go down without a fight. I was going grey, so I went blonde.

Fake it till you make it. Good luck with that.

‘At this stage of my life I need someone who is independent. I’ve set the bar now and I don’t want someone who needs looking after —unless he shows he can look after me first.’

How high is the bar? If no suitable men are interested, either lower it or get some cats.

Should middle-aged women just forget men of their own age and date younger ones? Some argue that this is the way forward.

 HAHAHAHAHA! Good luck with that.

‘Younger men are drawn to older women as much as older men are drawn to younger women.

Nice try, but… nope! Older men are drawn to younger women because of biology. The reverse is unnatural and likely a result of feminist “indoctrination”.

And this is not a new phenomenon,’ says Suzie Parkus. ‘They are drawn to the confidence and life experience of older women, especially those who don’t look their age.

‘This is something I have experienced at first hand, as well as being told it by younger guys when I was matchmaking.’

Did those “younger guys” propose? Didn’t think so.

Laura Hall agrees. Tall, slim and gorgeous, the 42-year-old redhead has been single since her divorce in 2011.

Looks like we’re worn out “beautiful” and have moved up to “gorgeous”. If she was really was “gorgeous”, why is she still “single”? Having said that, she is easily the best looking of the bunch. By an amazing coincidence, she is also the youngest.

Smart and sassy, Laura has a doctorate in physics and works as an optical engineer, yet she finds the dating sites full of men her age and older who just seem lazy.

We’re not lazy. We just don’t care. Your PhD and fabulous career does not impress the kind of man you are looking for. And the rest presumably do not think that your fabulousness is worth the effort.

‘I prefer younger men now because they are fun, whereas the older ones are boring,’ she says. ‘It’s not even an aesthetic thing but a character thing. I can’t stand the fact that older men really don’t know how to support themselves.

SO WHY ARE YOU HERE????

‘I think women have been raised to believe they are winning an amazing prize to get a man, who then has a sense of entitlement — so he puts in no effort whatsoever and always thinks he can get better.’

No. Women are the ones with the entitlement. It’s written all over this article. Entitlement is wanting something that you cannot get. And if he can get better, why shouldn’t he?

Yet for many women, dating a much younger man still comes with too much baggage — and again, the playing field is not a level one.

Jane Townsend says she is often approached by men in their 20s.

Approached for what? For sex? For marriage? For practice?

‘The last date I went on he was 23 — and he was interesting and articulate and we had lots in common. But society says I shouldn’t be dating men like him.

Date him all you want! Good luck to you. Honestly. But don’t be surprised when you find out that he married someone else and was only using you for practice and entertainment until something better came along.

‘I’m called a cougar — which makes me out to be predatory — yet it’s perfectly acceptable for men to go out with Barbies half their age.’

Once again, arguing with Biology. Already asked and answered.

I know from my experience of talking to women who write in for a blind date how many want a younger man because men of their own age just don’t appeal any more.

Unless men change their attitude to dating women of a similar age to them, and make more effort with their personal care (and most women accept this is unlikely), it is hard to see how the situation can change for these gorgeous women.

There’s that “gorgeous” again. Self-praise, and all that. If men are getting what they want, why should they change?

But Jo Hemmings says we can still take heart. Her advice is to go online frequently, make the approach, don’t rule out meeting people in real life and be as socially active as you can.

‘Knowledge is power, so get the determination to take charge,’ she says.

‘You’ve got to make the choice to be that one woman in seven. It’s tough but possible.’

So you’re betting your future happiness on seven-to-one odds? Good luck.

So… what can I say to help women over fifty? Here are a few rules of thumb:

  1. Don’t divorce. A woman over 40 will find it very hard to find a husband. A divorced woman will find it twice as hard, as divorcees are statistically a bad bet for marriage. If you divorce, do so with the assumption that you will spend the rest of your life alone.
  2. If a man does not want to have sex with you, he’s not going to approach you, let alone marry you.
  3. You’re not eighteen anymore. From 18 to 30, women rule the dating world. They have youth and beauty. But what mother Nature giveth, Father Time taketh away… and they are usually the last ones to realize it.
  4. Neither is he. While all this is going on, quality men have been banking wealth, building character, and gaining experience… all of which are incredibly attractive to women of all ages.
  5. Stop choosing men who aren’t interested in you. Draw a Venn diagram with the men who are interested in you in one circle, the men you like in another. Choose from the intersection. If there is no intersection, raise your standards and lower your expectations.
Venn Diagram.jpg

Or get cats. Your choice

 To save you some pain, let me sum up the entire article in one sentence.
 “WAAAAH!! Middle-aged women complain bitterly that the men they want don’t want them”

Actually, that would have made for a far better and more accurate headline… but it wouldn’t have sold well to the ladies who will pay good money to be told what they desperately want to hear.

Thank you and goodnight

Missing the point

I just stumbled across this story.



They are no longer accepting comments, so I thought that I would add one here.

“Working class men are becoming poorer because they have lost the habit of living with a partner, economists said yesterday”

Nowhere in the article does it address one simple and obvious fact: Women don’t want poor men. That’s not a bug, it’s a feature; nothing wrong with that at all; when a woman bets her future on a man, she wants one who can provide for her and the children that they will make together.

Stop blaming men for women’s rational choices

Christmas in… August?

Just got this in my email:

 

My coverage does not run out until the end of the year, but they are trying to get me to pay up now; more than four months before the bill is due.

*SIGH*… They do this every year.

Six of the best

Six Quick and Easy Reforms to Lower the Cost of Healthcare

  1. Make all medically-necessary health expenses fully tax-deductible: Abolish the 10% AGI requirement. Do away with Health Tax Shelters such as FSAs and HSAs. Who loses: the Government and the banks. Who wins: Everybody else.
  2. Get rid of “sweetheart deals” that benefit only Insurance companies: All this “in-network” and “out of network” rubbish need to stop. Once upon a time, insured people paid full price so that the uninsured could get healthcare at zero or low cost. Then the Insurance Companies made a grab for the money that was left on the table. Providers were offered lower, fixed rates with insurance companies. Insurance companies need to pay the same as everybody else. Who loses: Insurance companies. Who wins: Everybody else.
  3. Allow providers to negotiate discounts: Under current Medicare Law, it is illegal for a Provider to offer you a discount. Who loses: The Government and Insurance companies. Who wins: Everybody else.
  4. Require Insurance companies to settle bills immediately: Medical care is the only area where you have no idea what it will cost you until you get a bill, weeks, often months, later. When you go to the pharmacy, you know how much your drugs will cost before you leave. A similar system needs to be implemented for medical care. Who loses: Insurance companies Who wins: Everybody else.
  5. Menu Pricing: Customers have a right to know the cost wherever possible, and shop around if necessary. Who loses: Doctors. Who wins: Everybody else.
  6. Discourage frivolous malpractice lawsuits. The way things stand, Doctors have to pay thousands of dollars a month. That pushes up the cost for everyone. Who loses: Lawyers and folks who want to sue for malpractice. Who wins: Everybody else.

Google Goes Googly

I’ve been a “fan” of Google for more than ten years. However, they just did something that made me feel very uncomfortable.

They recently updated their YouTube App, but when I went to The Android Market Google Play store I was confronted with the following horror-show:

That’s a bloody awful lot of permissions!

Why all the new permissions? Why does YouTube need access to my contents (which they already own) device info (which they already know) and Contacts (which they already store)?

But wait! There’s more! A few days later they replaced the “Not Now” link (why not a button?) on the nag screen nag screen with a thirty-second countdown timer:

Update Or else

This screen comes up every time the app is started, which is extremely annoying, Google are playing hardball in their attempt to get you to get you to upgrade… and sign away a load of your personal information for which they have no clearly explained need.

Unlike most users, I do not use my main account to watch YouTube, so it doesn’t affect me. Instead, I use a secondary account with no Contacts for them to scarf, so updating is no big deal for me. I advise other users to do the same. But it is enough to make one wonder…

Google, what on Earth are you playing at?